Checking details of a will - will the beneficiary know?

[coronabeer]

In the process of divorcing dh. It has come to light in the last couple of days that he may be concealing an large sum of money from me which he inherited a few years ago .

His relative died 4 years ago when we were still married (supposedly happily married - at least according to stbxh!) I never knew how much he inherited (great marriage, huh?), but I remember him saying he would get more when his relative's wife died.

Well, I know how much the wife left, and I can trace that in bank accounts. But the first relative? Looked through all our bank accounts from that time, and no sign whatsoever of the money. It was a lot of money - enough to buy a house - but I simply cannot find any trace of it.

My head is spinning with all this. I literally found out yesterday because I met stbxh and he let slip the amount he inherited (while telling me I don't deserve any of "his" money", blah, blah, blah). I'm not sure he realised what he'd said because he was getting a bit worked up and I didn't visibly react. (Inside I was thinking WTAF!)

I don't want to outright accuse stbxh of anything given that the divorce is acrimonious enough already. I wondered about trying to look at the will, and see if I could work out from that whether the money was held somewhere until the relative's wife died. Could that be possible? More to the point, would stbxh find out if I requested a copy of probate, given that he was the executor.

Dh was really reluctant to show his bank statements when we first tried mediation. He eventually turned up with them and there was nothing remarkable there as far as I could see. But all this inheritance business (4 years ago) would pre-date the date range of the statements I've seen (past 2 years). If he has hidden the money, he did so when we were still together and he has done so in accounts I have no knowledge of.

You can look at the Will via .gov website but it may not be as specific as to state a sum.

You can get forensic accountancy searches done. Loads of divorcing couples lie. If he’s this tricky, get a solicitor who will know the score. Mediation won’t help.

Why do you think the money went into a bank account you know about? There are so many other savings vehicles! All sorts of accounts for squirrelling money away. Paperwork sent to different addresses, online only etc. Get someone else to look into this. You need better advice and a proactive solicitor.

Thanks.

I know what sum is involved (that's the detail stbxh let slip), but I don't know if stbxh got it straight away, or in the form of shares or whatever. I wondered if by looking at the will I might be able to work out exactly when dh inherited and in what form? And would stbxh know that I had been trying to find out (he was an executor)?
It's a heck of a lot of money (hundreds of thousands) and I have absolutely no idea where it is. I understood the inheritance to be in the low tens of thousands until yesterday. Seems like my marriage was in a worse state than I realised.

I never before considered that stbxh might have had secret bank accounts, set up whilst we were still "happily married". I was the one asking for a divorce and he always says he thought we were happy and he had no idea I would ever want to leave him. I can find all the money trails relating to his relative's wife's estate, but nothing at all from the "main" relative himself, even though he died first and left, as it turns out, more money than his wife.
I just want to be a bit more sure of myself before I start making accusations. But I don't want stbxh to be pre-warned that I do have suspicions.

Assuming the will has gone through probate then it becomes a public document and I can't see any reason why your ex would be informed that someone had looked at it as literally anyone could apply to do so.

The will won’t tell you where the money is.

DD is a family barrister and high net worth couples frequently hide money. DHs work partner tried to hide money from his wife for divorce purposes. If you believe it’s a lot of money, get it traced.

All cards, bank accounts and investments must be on the table!

Thanks for the advice.

I'm still reeling about this and trying to think what he could have done with that sort of money and where it is. Still, if I can prove he's hidden a substantial sum of cash, maybe I'll get a better divorce settlement?

You can get a copy of the wills and the deeds of probate, two separate documents and you may be able to work out roughly the amounts of money involved. So if the will says 25% goes to one beneficiary and 75% to the other, the deed of probate will tell you the gross and net value of the estate and if it was, say £100k, then one beneficiary gets £25k and the other £75k. But its a very crude calculation and doesn't take into account the provision in the wife's will or whether the money got spent before she died, whether it was cash or other assets like shares or the expenses incurred in executing both which would have been paid out of the estates. It might give you a 'ballpark' figure though so you know whether it was tens of thousands or hundreds of thousands involved and an indication as to whether there's a gap in what's being declared.

Yes you should. But don’t assume any percentage of it.

All investments/money must be declared. DHs work partner had tried to hide a substantial sum but it was discovered. There are often hidden sums belonging to a spouse. Deliberately hidden over years and sometimes in complex savings schemes.

Just try and find out what there was as described above but take advice.

Hmmm. I'm not entirely convinced of the morality of claiming a spouse's reasonably recent inheritance to be honest. It.bothers me that if my daughters inherit from me, their partners could swiftly file for divorce and claim half of that money. Much of what I have was their late father's and he didn't even met their DHs. I'd protect it for them if it was legal and reasonably inexpensive for me to do so.

Did you actually know this relative,OP?

"I'm not entirely convinced of the morality of claiming a spouse's reasonably recent inheritance to be honest."

Hmm... The inheritance was from 5 years ago. We were supposedly happily married then, at least according to stbxh. I knew there was some money (guessed around £20k), but didn't know the full amount. I never asked and I was never told. Told dh I wanted a divorce 2 years ago. Two days ago, dh let slip that the inheritance was for several hundred thousand pounds. I have no idea where that money is.

As part of negotiating a divorce settlement, each party is meant to give full and frank disclosure. How can any settlement be "fair" when a huge amount of money has been concealed? Dh has been completely mis-representing his current and future financial status. What's moral about that?

As it happens, I knew the relative well. I know that, had my stbxh pre-deceased him, I would have got stbxh's share of the estate. But that's not the point - the deception is the point. How would you feel if it turned out that your dh was - right at this very moment - hiding hundreds of thousands of pounds from you, money you had no idea existed?

I

I know I said the inheritance was from 4 years ago in my early posts. On checking, it turned out like the relative died more like 5 years ago.

Do you have children?
If you have children, do you need half that money in order to provide them with a life similar to the one they know?

If you dont have children, or dont need to money to provide reasonably for them, then why do you think you should have the money?

Its money from his family. It will be inherited by your kids if you have any and there is any left at that point.

I agree fully with fairly splitting marital assets, and compensating any party who gave up work for their spouse/their joint children. But outside of that... that money shouldnt be yours. Sorry.

Yes I have children. I have them 100% of the time; that is what they have chosen because of their relationship with stbxh.

I've posted this on "legal matters", not "moral dilemmas" and I'm asking for a divorce settlement according to the law - no more, and no less.

I have not indicated whether or not I feel I should have the money. The fact that this money exists means that dh's financial circumstances are markedly different from what he has hitherto claimed. He is already trying to claim more than half the marital assets - and that was without taking this hidden inheritance into account.

I'm quite surprised that posters are so blase about it, tbh: "Yes, sure, if my husband had hidden hundreds of thousands of pounds from me, over a period of years, I'd be happy to let him have it. After all, that couldn't possibly indicate that he might be hiding other things, too, could it?"

Then hire a forensic account and go for more than half the marital assets due to you having the kids, and try and go for 50% of his inheritance being put into a trust for the children.

And I didn't file for divorce to claim the inheritance,as has been insinuated! I thought dh had inherited maybe 5% of what he actually inherited (I guessed at £10-£20k) - not several hundred thousand pounds! As I understood it, the inheritance had been mostly used up to redo the bathroom. I only found out about the size of the inheritance earlier this week - two years in to the divorce process!

Anyone unfortunate enough to go through tis process will know that you are required to give "full and frank" financial disclosure to their spouse. Unless there is some explanation which I have so far failed to imagine, stbxh has failed to provide "full and frank" disclosure at any stage and has lied throughout our negotiations and, as it now seems, throughout our marriage!

It's a big accusation to make, which is why I want to be fairly sure of myself before I make it. Hence the question about the will. But if he's hidden this money, who's to say he hasn't hidden other assets?

Anyway, I clearly need legal advice about this. I'll try to get hold of the will just to see how much dh actually inherited and when, and I'll take it from there.

You know, even though I wasn't happy in the marriage (I really wasn't), I still would never have imagined dh might have done something like this . It's actually quite upsetting, knowing you were being deceived for so long and had no idea. What else don't I know about?

I’m not an expert but I don’t believe that an inheritance is always considered a “marital asset”. When my DSis divorced, she kept her share of our parents estate.

From my experience, inheritance (one that is kept out of the marital pot & is not co-mingled with the family finances & kept entirely separate) is an exception in that it is NOT usually considered a marital asset.

If, however, there is not enough money in the current marital pot to go around & provide for everyone’s needs (not wants) adequately, then yes, a court would consider it as part of a settlement. If there are enough marital assets to go around though, then the court will try to preserve the inheritance & it will be disregarded.

Get legal advice based on your own specific circumstances though.

@coronabeer

Anyway, I clearly need legal advice about this. I'll try to get hold of the will just to see how much dh actually inherited and when, and I'll take it from there.

You know, even though I wasn't happy in the marriage (I really wasn't), I still would never have imagined dh might have done something like this . It's actually quite upsetting, knowing you were being deceived for so long and had no idea. What else don't I know about?

Despite what I posted earlier, I do totally get how deceived you must feel, and how you must be questioning a lot. And I do feel that you having children together makes a difference (for some reason I thought you were just talking about a spousal settlement).

A friend of mine, who I really had thought better of, behaved incredibly badly (to my mind) in a similar situation, and that's where my post came from. I picked up this thread from 'active' and didn't realise it was in legal. Sorry.

Ok, thanks for your responses everyone.

I have been asking about the (probable) hiding of assets while negotiating a divorce settlement, and I clearly need legal advice about that. As I said, I don't want to make any accusations without being a bit more certain; hopefully by looking at the will, I'll have a better idea of what was inherited when and I can take it from there.

No doubt a solicitor will also be able to advise what, if any, effect this will have on our settlement. I accept that non-marital assets do not always have to be taken into account, but they do have to be declared.

Interesting that so many people would apparently be willing to overlook their dh attempting to defraud them in divorce negotiations, but each to their own.

Have you checked this site? The will should be on there - I think it's £10 to download it.

Here

Sorry, looks like it's only £1.50.

When did the relative wife die? Could it be that he was left only 5% when he died with everything going to his wife but with the understanding that when she dies, everything would go to him?

If she died after you were already separated, then you might indeed be entitled to nothing of it.