How to be legally recognised as a carer

[Gigitree]

Hi,

My husband just had to take his mum to a&e due to a complication after she received chemo due to her ovarian cancer returning for the second time.
He went into a&e with her but was told her had to leave due to Covid rules meaning only one person is allowed in. He explained that he is essentially her carer, she is elderly, is quite fragile atm due to the chemo, can get confused easily when she’s being told things by doctors (this isn’t due to her age/fragility it’s just because she’s slightly scatty and has always struggled with this even when younger/in better health) he explained all of this to them but they said it doesn’t count and that he couldn’t go in. He tried to argue but they wouldn’t listen so she had to go in alone. We’re going to contact PALS about this in the morning. I know Covid has to be taken seriously but this seems utterly ridiculous to me given the situation.

Anyway... on to my point.

My husband I believe does fall into the definition of carer for his mother but is there a way to have this legitimised/legally recognised so that in future he could prove his status as her carer somehow?
I’ve tried to look into this online but the only things I can find seem to relate to being assessed if you need extra support/money etc.

Thanks in advance

Morning bump

I don't know about legally stating you are one but I take my Dad to all his appointments and go over every day to do meals and medication etc . He uses a wheelchair though so it's a visual aid and no ones ever told me I couldn't go in with him. I registered as a carer on my own GPs website too.

Whether or not he's her carer isn't relevant with covid rules, nobody is allowed someone with them currently with the exception of young children at many hospitals. Some are making an exception for severe learning difficulties but the elderly are not allowed

Your mum can write to her GP stating his contact details as her informal carer and for information about her health to be shared with him. Your mum can tell the hospital (for their hospital records).

If your mum lacks capacity to decide on her medical treatment, you could tell the hospital that. (If you have LPA health and welfare let them know and show a copy as they'll have to consult with you if at all practicable- but that can be done by phone)

She can carry a card stating to contact him as he is her carer - talk to local carer organisations or Google the most appropriate charity (eg Alzheimer's society, Princess royal trust for carers, age concern, carers U.K.,..) who may have suggested cards.

But as a PP says, hospitals/wards have their own Covid policies, whether they'd let in a carer to an adult to accompany them. It would be quite unusual circumstances . Please try to ring the ears she is on to talk to someone to explain that she has memory problems and may not be able to give a good medical or social account to update them of these.

Ring the ward not the 'ears' sorry autocorrect

That’s ridiculous. They need to exercise some discretion here and let your DH in. For example, I’m completely capable of attending all my appointments alone (And I do) but I’m technically allowed to take my DH to them if I want to (maternity). That’s the case for all pregnant women and it sounds like your MiL is in much more need of someone to accompany her than most pregnant women.

I have never heard of being a legal carer. Anyone who accompanies someone needing care can be deemed their carer so to 'legalise' one person would be odd. Some people get carers allowance but even then that doesn't mean the person they care for cannot have someone else as their carer at any particular time. There is no list I'm afraid.

It really does come down to common sense from whoever admits you into hospital. I am a carer for DH but couldn't accompany him to a recent appointment either.

I'm sorry this happened but there is no carers register. You can ask the GP to have him listed as her carer, but even the time that was only helpful for covid vaccine it wouldn't get you a ticket into hospital

Sorry I should have added, having POA may be helpful, if it's at the stage where he thinks it's necessary.

@minniemomo

Whether or not he's her carer isn't relevant with covid rules, nobody is allowed someone with them currently with the exception of young children at many hospitals. Some are making an exception for severe learning difficulties but the elderly are not allowed

This is my experience too.

Thank you @AlwaysLatte will see if we can get him registered with her GP

@minniemomo @Thatwentbadly
The a&e had a notice outside saying one person at a time unless.... and then listed exceptions such as carers

Thank you @threeteenstaximum all very good ideas I will look at those

@Mabelann
So good that you’re allowed your partner in with you if/when you need now. When I was pregnant during the first lockdown this wasn’t the case and I’m so glad they’ve changed this.
Thank you, it’s disgusting really isn’t it? I just don’t understand why, surely they could have some common sense and make allowances in circumstances where it’s needed.

Thank you @rainbowthoughts we are going through the process of making him her POA at the moment

My Mum spoke to the nurse at her GP practice, nurse then added me to the practice list as her carer.

When hospitals say carers, they mean people paid as carers, like care home workers or home workers. It also includes family members who exclusively look after a family member who has a health condition or dementia. Your DH falls into the grey area of helping his elderly mother rather than caring full time for her. Hospitals are very strict at the moment for good reason unfortunately.

Her GP might be able to help?

@notagainmummy

When hospitals say carers, they mean people paid as carers, like care home workers or home workers. It also includes family members who exclusively look after a family member who has a health condition or dementia. Your DH falls into the grey area of helping his elderly mother rather than caring full time for her. Hospitals are very strict at the moment for good reason unfortunately.

Her GP might be able to help?

That's not what they mean at all. If someone needs care they need care. I am DH carer (get carers allowance) and cannot attend the majority of appointments with him due covid. I help my Nanna out, she is much older and has mild cognitive impairment and I have been able to attend several appointments with her. If someone needs care and you are with them you are caring therefore you are their carer at the time. It's nothing to do with being paid or a regular carer and everything to do with the needs of the person.

The GP can't overrule anyone here so it would be a waste of their time. If the hospital says no they say no.

@AlanThePig

My Mum spoke to the nurse at her GP practice, nurse then added me to the practice list as her carer.

This may help people access a covid vaccine but it won't go any way to getting you in to a medical appointment if the hospital refuse entry.

I think PPs have helped you here.

You won't be able to go in with your relative or visit them unless the hospital agree it is essential. Just ring the ward and explain and let them decide. They will see how your parent is and make a decision whether you need to visit.

(Once out of the acute ward, for e.g in a long term mental health or community ward they may offer scheduled visits to one informal carer. )

But acute hospitals have their own criteria. Very Few adults are allowed a second adult to accompany them. Child yes sure, but not adults, unless it is very obvious the adult is highly distressed as well as lacking capacity and that the experiences Heath staff team won't be able to manage- which may take some time for them to realise that.

Get on the phone to offer help and background information. And say if your relative lacks capacity and you have LPA health and welfare. Ask for their email address so you can send a copy of it to them tor their hospital records - their GP records are separate. That's why you get discharge letters, GPS can no more see hospital records than hospital can see all their records, only the basics.

Other than that, if your relative usually makes their own decisions , and you don't have LPA H&W, you might have to accept you will have to be NOK / main informal carer support and ask to talk to doctors and ring the ward regularly yourself