What am I entitled to

[Batoutofhellfinally]

I need to leave this horrible toxic relationship. Just want some advice as to what I'm entitled to. We own a house £300k in equity and I have a public sector pension. He owns a flat £80k equity. I earn £41k he earns approx double. I have worked part time and done most of the childcare until Nov last year when I went full time. I have a 14 year old and an 11 year old. I want half the equity (I'll have to move as can't afford to buy him out) from the house, some of the furniture. I have my own car. Neither of us has any savings. 50/50 custody, or I'm happy to do more

He's likely to be very very difficult. Is what I'm asking for fair and reasonable?

Are you married?
If so everything goes into the pot, the children get housed then the rest is split (I may be simplifying a bit).
If not ......
A whole different ball game.

Yes I am

I'd get this moved to legal matters where you'll get answers from legal professionals.
Not random experiences from people who think 'common law marriage' is a thing.

In that case ask for this to be moved to legal matters.
Book a appointment with a solicitor. ( Ignore any suggestions that you're entitled to 30mins free advice).

Thank you. Sorry to be a bit dense but how do I get it moved?

How long have you been married and how old are you?

Married 16 years and I'm 46

If you’re not married then that sounds ok.

Sorry I am married. May not have made it clear earlier

Ah married, that’s much better then !
See a solicitor ASAP and don’t agree to anything until you’ve seen one.

Ok thank you

Throw everything in the pot, fifty fifty is the starting point.

So you’re looking at 190 each.

Pensions it’s up to both of you if you wish to include, his pension may or may not be worth more than yours, you need a valuation of both.

I think 50/50 is a starting point but you might get more given the difference in earning power, who the primary parent is.

Good luck.

Spend money on a solicitor.
He is going to be difficult anyway.

Assuming the £80k property was bought pre-relationship you get half of that too. That assumes you can get somewhere reasonable to live for you and the children with the capital you get and the mortgage you can raise.

Spouse maintenance highly unlikely. Child maintenance via the CMS assuming it is not a true shared care arrangement.

The flat was bought during the relationship. We both bought one at the same time and lived in mine and rented his out. We sold mine to buy the house as it had loads more equity in it. Don't know if that makes a difference. I don't want cash from him for myself in terms of a monthly payment. I want a decent deposit for a house for us to live in.

Well that means the starting off point is you walk away with £190k of equity (but deduct CGT if payable). If on your salary you can get a mortgage for a reasonable property to meet your needs then that's the capital settlement. Pensions accrued during the marriage to be shared.