Ex-partner owes me money.

[TheNestedIf]

I lent my ex-partner a sum of money to pay off a (sort of) debt in September 2019. I have lent him before and he has paid me off as a lump sum at later dates so, foolishly, I didn't get any form or written agreement.

Recently, we split up without him having paid back this money. I intend to ask for it back but how should I go about legal action if he refuses, and what are the chances of recovery?

Do you have evidence of it leaving your account like a bank transfer to him? If so a small claims court is the way to go. If you took out cash and there were no independent witnesses you would probably struggle.

Thanks for responding.

I do. I don't appear to have a specific reference as I did with a car loan, for example, but I do have evidence of a transfer.

My concern is that he could just say it was a gift as he has paid me nothing back in that time.

That said, you've just reminded me, I think the previous time he paid me back, it was a lump sum by cheque. I don't know if my bank statements go back that far, but it would be evidence that I haven't asked for regular payments when I've lent him money.

It's not looking good OP. You need proof that this was a loan, not a gift. With nothing in writing and no evidence that payments have been made (indicating intent to repay), you've got little chance of convincing a court.

Not being able to prove it was what I was afraid of. I can afford to lose it although I'd rather not.

Learn your lesson . Don't ever lend money unless you can afford to lose it.

Send him a text "Can we please discuss the £££ (amount) that I lent you - how and when will it be paid?"

To be fair to myself, I did have the sense not to lend it unless I could afford to lose it. It just rankles, that's all.

I need to contact him anyway to return the remains of his stuff so I'll still ask him, on the off-chance he does the right thing.

if you have evidence of a previous loan and evidence it was paid back into your bank account, you have an established pattern of behaviour with regard to loaning him money. More than once would be a bonus. Therefore 'on the balance of probabilities' a court could decide in your favour, especially as you have no reason to 'gift' him a significant sum if he is your ex. Try to trick him into accepting he owes you this money, via text. He may be dumb enough to admit he was trying it on.

Ask him (in writing) so that he admits he owes you the money. Then if he doesn't repay you, go to the Small Claims court.

I think you will struggle unless he is compliant.

I loaned a partner money before he was an ex and I never got it back because he just never had any spare cash. He even contacted me a couple of years after we broke up crying and asking for money. I said no.

I would chalk it up and move on unless you think there’s a realistic chance of him paying it back.

I've just found a cheque paid in April 2018, which I think may have been from him paying back a previous loan. There are no details in my statement but the bank may be able to help.

He may do the right thing. He's had a massive kick in his self-image, entirely due to his own actions. Giving him a chance to claw back some self-respect may be the way to go.