Why no contact??

[Smallmum55]

Hi, I'm looking for a bit of advice.
Last year my (now ex) partner assaulted me and was arrested and released with a restraining order. This case is due in court at the end of this year.
At the time I was pregnant and, despite the fact I left him and had a restraining order, he was still very vocal that he wanted to be involved with the baby and would do anything to be with her when she was born, etc, etc. This went on for months.
A few months before she was born he just disapeared off the face of the earth - one day he was saying how much he wanted to be with the baby....next day....nothing.
Nothing when she was born or over Christmas, no contact at all. (Which I'm happy about btw)
She's now 7 months old and he's never been in touch.
My HOPE is that he's met some else and just decided to write this baby off and not have anything to do with her but my fear is that there is a reason he's not been in touch and he's just waiting until after court.
Would there be any reason that his lawyer would have advised him against trying to get access at this time?
I just assumed that even though it was a domestic violence incident and he's not allowed to contact/approach me that he would still be able to try for contact with the baby through his lawyers or something? If he was interested in her he would have reached out for contact by now I would have thought?
Any help or advice would be appreciated. I'm in the UK.

I think he may either be biding his time, saving up and sorting out access to funds for Solicitors or has written off as you've said.
You could always make an application for a CAO as the applicant instead of waiting for him and then being a respondent, if you mention the domestic abuse and the fact he's going to be on trial for assault and possibly imprisoned then the Court will take it very seriously. May be have a look and see if you can access legal aid, if it's been reported via the police then you should be able to get a copy of the police report to provide as eligibility for the legal aid.
If I was you, I wouldn't sit back and wait - I would apply to the Court first and let them decide what contact he gets, given he's been absent for her entire life, has assaulted you and most probably has a history of domestic abuse, he's not likely to get a lot of contact and even then it will be supervised until he can prove he isn't a risk.
Talking from experience here - I am currently going through Court as the respondent with a highly violent and abusive ex.

Thanks so much for your reply @Pebbledashery.
I'll look into doing that.
As he's had no contact with her since birth (before birth really), he's not on the birth certificate. Do you think that will make a difference to anything? x

He is waiting for you to make the first move for you to apply for csa or ask him to be on the birth certificate I would say leave it just go through the court case about the assault

@Theunamedcat yeah it seems that way. It just baffles me as he constantly ignored the restraining order all through my pregnancy and wouldn't leave me alone but as soon as the baby was born he disappeared. He's quite a sneaky individual so I worry he's up to something x

Probably trying to get them to believe he is a decent human being i would seek legal advice but the last legal advice I got was let him take you to court you cant force him to be a father she turns 21 this year he never took me to court and tells everyone not seeing her again was my fault because after 5 years of him not bothering I moved house and changed my phone number (I had also got married and had another child hence the need for a bigger house)

He's got to apply to the court for parental responsibility before doing anything else.
He can't actually take you to Court if he's not on the birth certificate. There isn't a great deal you can actually do yet if he's not on the birth certificate.. It's a good thing he's not!

do nothing

if you go to court and gets access you have handed it to him. So leave him alone.

Thanks for your help
@GettingItOutThere @Pebbledashery
@Theunamedcat
I'll just continue to keep my distance from him and see what happens after the court date.
I'm just terrified he's quietly working on something and will blindside me after court. She's just so much better off without him.

If he's disappeared is it possible he's in prison for something else you don't know about ? Don't put him on the birth certificate.

@tenredthings He actually only lives a few streets away from me so I've seen him from a distance a few times so I don't think he's been in jail.
I'm just hoping that he's not been in contact because he's not interested in her now and he's not just waiting to try and get access once our court date is out of the way at the end of the year