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Original poster

Need some legal advice fast

8 replies

Itsybitsydooda · 15/03/2021 20:19

This is a little complex. STBXH left our home in Dec to go sort his mental health. He went to stay at the parents house of a friend of his. No less than 3 weeks later him and the "friend" had a weekend away together sharing a hotel room and he has admitted in message to sharing a bed on multiple occasions but claims nothing happened. He moved home here for a week 3 weeks ago before leaving again and went to his mums. The following weekend he told me he was going back to London and is now there with her and her parents.
Can I divorce him for Adultery or am I better off going for unreasonable behaviour? There is a lot of financial stuff to sort but given we've been married 10 years this June and have 2 children I'm conscious that I may need to take different steps to ensure our girls future.
He's already wanting to take them to stay with him next weekend (2 weeks after our split) and introduce them to her and her parents.

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 15/03/2021 22:24

Would he contest the adultery? Presumably not, since he appears keen to move on with his new relationship. Have you asked him to confirm that he wouldn’t? If there’s any suggestion he might, it’s always easier to go with unreasonable behaviour (good examples of which would be that he shared a bed with another woman without your permission, and has now moved in with her and her parents.)

cerseii · 15/03/2021 22:25

I’m not a lawyer but I think going for adultery is easy for him to contest, thus delaying proceedings. Using unreasonable behaviour instead may make the divorce process smoother and faster

Bluntness100 · 15/03/2021 22:29

Go for desertion or unreasonable, you can’t prove adultery. Or wait for the autumn and go for no fault when the new law is launched.

cerseii · 15/03/2021 22:31

www.divorce-online.co.uk/blog/adultery-or-unreasonable-behaviour-which-is-best/

This is an interesting read. Unreasonable behaviour has a “I deny the allegations but wish to continue with the divorce” box, so less likely to be contested. Also new “no-fault” rules are coming into force this autumn which makes contesting a divorce redundant

Original poster
Itsybitsydooda · 15/03/2021 22:53

Thankyou. I think it will have to be unreasonable behaviour. I want this done asap. He's decided today to be really awkward over our children.

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PatriciaHolm · 15/03/2021 22:53

From a financial/splitting assets standpoint, it makes no difference. The reason for divorce has no bearing on that.

costco · 15/03/2021 22:56

Erm how long has he been with her!! This sounds completely crazy on his part, getting the children to meet her. Incredibly selfish to the point of crazy.

Original poster
Itsybitsydooda · 16/03/2021 00:26

@costco

Erm how long has he been with her!! This sounds completely crazy on his part, getting the children to meet her. Incredibly selfish to the point of crazy.
Exactly what everyone says to me. He seriously thinks it'll be okay. Angry
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