How will I survive???

[ItTakesTwo121]

Can anyone tell me the basics of how a divorce/separation works with a child involved.
I've googled and got the basics, but a lot of the pages want you to fill in details, which I don't want to do at this stage.

For background.
Still together atm but husband is becoming increasingly more and more moody...when I've asked him if he is okay he just shouts he hates his life. Often he reflects on how life was before having a child and how he misses it. Often states he hates our house and family home we've built together. Is a really selfish man, although has been from day 1 and I knew that, but he is getting worse by the day. He has been hot and cold for 2 years now (we have a 2 year old so says it all)
I've asked him if he feels depressed, post natal depression (can happen to men) happy in our marriage etc etc and I get little to no answer. He will the. Just have an explosion of how he hates how his life is etc

In his latest outburst I just shouted back at him that he knows where the door is if he hates his life with me and our boy so much.

I don't see why me and our boy should put up with his constant mood swings all the time and him openly stating he hates his life since being married and having a child.

Life is too short. I love him, but I'm not willing for us to tip toe around him and to be made to feel like we're a problem.

If I was to leave him, how would I stand financially and what help could I get?

We own our house after 6 years. It's made about £60,000 on top of what we paid give or take.

I work 22.5 hours a week as I do the childcare around work so reduced my hours - I earn £860 a month after pension deduction and NI

He is self employed working 3 days a week and has a set wage of £550 a week

I have 2 pensions he has none

About £4000 in savings between us

We own one car in my name and the other is PCP also in my name

We have no other financial assets of value

Our boy would live with me and maybe have a day and night with him, but would be open to discussion of him having him more if his 'I hate my life and selfishness' attitude changed once separated (after all it may be me that is the issue and he doesn't want to say that)

I can't afford to live on my own...period...but I don't want that to be a reason to stay in an unhappy marriage and life and I certainly don't want our son to suffer in a crap environment.

Any advice on help that is possibly available and where to look would be great.

I understand people may have opinions on our situation, but I'm not here to be given marriage counseling. I just need to know how I can help me and my boy out of a shit situations

You need to contact Citizens Advice and get the name of a lawyer who will give you a one off consultation and lay out the facts for you,

I'm not sure about the settlement side.

But, have you asked him, when he is calm to write down all the things he feels is wrong with his life at the moment?

Like, no time to himself (example)
Lack of sleep (example)
Too much work
Feeling stressed

Etc

He can't just shout..I hate my life, without giving any context

Look at things like \link{www.entitledto.co.uk\benefits calculator} and \link{https://child-maintenance.dwp.gov.uk/calculate/details/will-you-be-paying-or-receiving-child-maintenance-payments\child maintenance calculator}

You may be pleasantly surprised at how much you may be entitled to

no practical advice but you deserve a better life. being single and free of someone like this is so much better- I speak from experience.

Thank you for your comments.
I've asked him many times in what way does he hate his life and he just says everything! It's been since we had a child. He has opening said he regrets it and wished he never had a child. He has plenty of time to himself in normal circumstances; golf every weekend, gym Monday to Friday plus other smaller hobbies that he spends time and money on which I've never tried to stop or begrudged him. When we had a baby I said he had to give something up as before baby he played another sport that took a lot of his time up, but he was happy to give one up as he said himself there was becoming too much.

I think he hates life as a settled man. I'm not what I was to look at when we got together and although he says it doesn't bother him, I know it does.

I love him and would happily work things out. But this is two years in now of this and he is going getting worse. I have my son to think about and to be honest I have some self respect to know if he is unhappy in the new life as a parent, it will only get worse when our sons life becomes more demanding (his own sports/social/school) I don't want to waste the remaining of my younger years if he is unhappy with our life as it is.

I grew up with separated parents and it was so hard financially on my mum, that I think it scares me to be the same

Well you tried, he can't blame you for not trying.

Visit a solicitor and start proceedings

No advice as such on the divorcing with children but friendly advice on divorce in general:

1. being amicable is cheaper - the more you can agree the better and avoids extra costs - even solicitors sending letters will rack up cost.

2. most solicitors will give a free 30 min consultation before taking your case. You can get a list of questions answered if you prep. I did this twice before I started my divorce to get some basic knowledge

You can start by getting some legal advice or just sit down tell him. He might be relieved (you are giving him an out) and co-operate or shocked and willing to try and work on the marriage.

Either way - life is too short to be stuck in a miserable marriage.