Court for access?

[Mummybunny2000]

No judgement please just general advice as very stressed. I’ve not had any threats over court but it’s something I worry about. Ex partner has made malicious accusations/lies and I basically put him in his place finally put my foot down after months of stress and emotional abuse ! After harassment of texts/ calls I blocked him and gave another number for if he wanted to get in contact through another family member.. he hasn’t contacted or been to visit since and I’ve found out he’s been smoking/selling drugs which I won’t stand for obvs! Very upset by this.. I planned to say visits can continue as long as you do a drugs test and it’s clean. He visits DS at my home. I haven’t heard from him which makes me super scared he’s going to plot something or try and take me to court for access ! I know the court would do what’s in DS best interest but I’ve seen him with my son.. he’s ok under supervision but would hate to think he’d be left alone with him. I’d be seriously frightened which is why I’ve never allowed it. Probably worrying for nothing anyway but would he be able to take me to court ? And on what grounds? Would I know what he was doing or would I just receive a letter one day? I haven’t stopped access he just hasn’t bothered.

Yes, he can take you to court. He doesn't need specific grounds. He just has to request an order giving him more contact. That doesn't mean he would get it.

He cannot get an order for contact without your knowledge. You will have the chance to oppose his application for an order if he takes it to court.

@prh47bridge Okay thank you. I’m probably worried for nothing as he doesn’t even bother with the contact he has currently sigh .. just know what he’s like . Would we have to attend mediation before ?

How old is your child?

@RedHelenB hes just 9 weeks

You don’t need to attend mediation if there has been abuse. You could always go if you think he can be reasoned with. It’s a lot less stressful than family court.

I can understand your concerns given how old your baby is. It’s nice that you have been allowing access.

Lots of people go to family court these days. Probably a sign of the narcissist times we are living in sadly.

Even if there hasn't been abuse, you don't have to attend mediation. He must attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting. That may lead to you being invited to attend mediation. It is entirely up to you whether to accept. I agree with Skeptadad that, if a compromise may be possible, mediation would be better than going to court.

@Skeptadad @RedHelenB thank you ... yeah I really don’t want it to end up with court ! So hopefully it won’t go that way. So he wouldn’t be able to just take me to court then? I’m just worried that one day I’ll get a letter saying I have to go. Will he have to try and mediate first? And will i know about that beforehand. I’d be willing to do anything instead of court really. I only worry because he hasn’t been in contact, in reality he could just not be interested in contact as he hasn’t asked me to see him and I haven’t said he can’t

He can take you to court whenever he likes but he will need to be committed as it's quite a grueling process. It's not something that can be seen through without commitment.

It might be that you need to get your head around going to court if you feel that will be in your childs best interest. I wouldn't want my daughter t be around someone smoking and selling drugs so I would likely go to court to stop that from happening. I wouldn't let your potential dislike for court put you in a compromised position.

@Skeptadad I see what you’re saying. I’m so relieved that he’s not been visiting lately it seems to good to be true. But you’re right.. I also read the courts wouldn’t care if he was doing those things which I think is ridiculous and scared me more than anything. If he can’t be bothered to go 5 mins down the road to see his son I can’t imagine he’d be bothered for the gruelling process like you said

@Skeptadad I’d fight it till the end and give every reason if it did come to that. I’d just hate to think they would give him access alone and ignore the criminal active he’s been part of. Me and my family are so not like that and it’s really shocked me