could I be forced to send child to private school

[Kent1982]

Looking for some advice or experiences if anyone has them, I've searched internet high and low.

My ex, wants to send dc to private school, and is seeking a specific orders issues to get this in place. He has said he will pay.

I would prefer the child stay in state education, he is primary age at moment and doing well. Ex has always known my thoughts on fee paying education even before the child was born.

For background I've been taken to court about quite a few issues by ex who has made it very clear that his intention is to gain full custody of the child, he stated he has the most money and that's how it works. He has already attempted this but was not successful, although a very unpleasant experience.

Lots of other issues including social services prevented child from seeing father for a period of time after a incident of DV in fathers household (nothing to do with me at all)

I guess the question is could a court rule that a private education is more suited to the child than a state one?

Yes, a court might rule that.

Assuming your ex has PR he is entitled to a say in your child's education. That doesn't mean he gets to decide but it also means you can't completely ignore his views. The court will consider your child's best interests.

He is, however, completely wrong to suggest that the fact he has the most money is a deciding factor in anything. It isn't.

Is he seeking a school that will make it more difficult for you to be primary parent?

Such as the distance to it, transport options, incidental costs?

I do wonder if it court ordered that he pays for an accompanies taxi for all drop off/pick ups. All uniform, books, trips, extra curricular etc etc.

Do you think he is doing this just to be controlling?

Yes, if parents disagree about which school a child goes to, ultimately a court will decide.

Courts are going to look at which school is ultimately in the best interests of the child.

Try to take any ideological objections out of it. Think about which school is actually best for your child, and think about all the factors (academic success, extra curricular activities, location of schools, pastoral care etc). Then make clear if it goes to court which option you believe is best and why, and that you are unable to meet any costs associated with the private school.

If the court chooses the private school, make sure the order also provides for ex to pay all fees, uniform, trips, exam costs, etc etc. The school may be able to help you with a list of categories of costs.

Hes full of crap. Trying to wind you up because he knows your views. Hopefully he won't go down the legal route with this one, but if he does I pray they'll see through him. Don't retaliate, applying for secondary school is a little while off no need to discuss it with him at all- I know its easier said than done. He sounds like a prize
.

Thanks for the replies

The school location would make it more difficult for me it would be a hour round trip morning and evening to the bus pick up point.

He has said he will come to my house every day and take him to school, that would be a 3 hour round trip for him. I've no doubt he would then apply for a change to the contact agreement to say it's logistically better for him to reside with him.

This is the school.... I know it's meant to be a joke by the kids but I just think it's tone deaf given the level of child poverty in the U.K. Even if I had been looking for a fee paying school this would put me off

www.thesun.co.uk/news/13038135/private-school-tiktok-posh-students/amp/

^ if that article pre dates his wish to send DC there, he is really trying to goad you.

Are there other private schools that would be a shorter journey for your DC? I would be stating that you feel it's another attempt to remove DC from your main care and not in their best interests with it being such a long journey and would prevent them from having local friends etc.

He will take it to court, I think he quite enjoys going.

I thought it might be quite shocking for a court to say that a private education is better than a state one when one of the parents is opposed.

It seems that usually it's people trying to get school fees paid by ex partners after a divorce where the child is already in fee paying school

They may well roll their eyes at his game playing!

I don’t think any court would say that a private education is always better than a state one, but they will certainly look at the schools on offer and decide which is best for the child.

I thought it might be quite shocking for a court to say that a private education is better than a state one when one of the parents is opposed.

Not a lawyer so feel free to correct me. I think if a child already attends private school and is already established there, a court may rule the child stays at said private school. But in your situation the child has never been so it’s not as likely the court would rule in his favour

I think that the fact the bus stop is an hour away and presumably further journey from there would have a significant impact on the court's decision about your child's welfare.

It seems insane to inflict that length of school run on a primary age DC, especially when settled in a school already.

But you do need to think about this long term - no suitable prep nearby, but what are options for secondary like? And how long until you need to apply for secondaries?

If your dc is already in state education he won’t be moved by a court because ‘twat ex says so and he’ll pay’. I work in private education and never heard so much rubbish as forcing a child to change schools. A judge will never order this. Let you ex waste his money.

We did go to court about this a couple of years previously when child was in nursery school, the school he selected on that occasion was even further away, prob 90 minutes each way. Pull 20 minutes to the coach drop off

I visited the school, I compared the schools and his choice was not achieving anywhere near the levels at KS 1 at the local primary school was. He made me do all the research build my case then withdrew it from court when we were sat in the actual court.

He whizzes solicitors letters out constantly turns up with barristers and has laughed at me saying when will your money run out. I'm not financially struggling but I don't have money to waste so I have to do it all myself now.

I better get my research done and brace myself.

The court rules on what is in the child’s best interests

Eg what the child wants, NOT the parent/s
Whether the child would be uprooted from friends/support circle at current school
Whether the extra travel is to the child’s detriment etc

Thanks I did think would the school even want dc under these circumstances?

If the school your ex wants won't take your child the whole thing is academic. The courts won't order the school to take your child.

As I said earlier, the main consideration is your child's best interests. It is possible the court would decide that a private school is best but there would need to be more evidence than simply your ex wanting that. As your child is already attending a state school, it will be up to your ex to show that it is in his best interests to move. I won't say categorically that he can't do that but it seems highly unlikely.

Thanks everyone for your advice and thoughts really appreciate it,

I don’t know much about Hill House, my daughter attended sports fixtures against the school and they seemed nice enough, well behaved, polite and the teachers and parents were quite welcoming. It’s not unusual for private schools to have large catchment areas but if he is settled in his school it doesn’t make sense to move him, why does he think it’ll be better for him?

If your child is settled and doing well at a good state school I think he is going to have an uphill struggle persuading the court that child should move.

More of an issue I would think would be when it is time for child to move anyway up to secondary school.

I think the video the pupils did is ill advised trying to be satirical. Doesn't make them bad kids. Just a bit daft
Posh kids can never do rough/urban/edgy they look too horsey and outdoorsy

I think a court ordered change of school would be more likely at a natural transition point eg. Between the end of primary and start of secondary. I think a court would then make a decision about which school is in the best interests of the child, considering education attainment, extra curricular, distance to school, etc. A good independent school (and not all are) could easily be seen as a better option to a local under performing state school. I'd be surprised if the court would take into account your ideological objection to fee paying schools, especially as they are the opposite of his Dad's views. If he has PR then he has a right to a say in choice of school.

I suspect that the videos (which didn't make the headlines) made by the kids from your local state secondary would be equally shocking. You just haven't seen them.

Is there an independent secondary that would be easily commutable from your home?

I think he'll get nowhere moving primary but likely to with secondary. At which point you would need a water tight court document that he pays for all costs etc. Also some independent schools would still need you to sign would could make you financially liable.

It does seem like extreme bullying/game playing by him.