2 yr old with potential asd, change of residence and refusal to engage with services

[Wheredidthegoodgo]

This maybe slightly long but going to try and cover the main bits so I don't drip feed.

I have a 2yr old DD with my abusive controlling ex not only to myself but to dd. Cafcass when doing a section 7 report said DD was at moderate risk from him but that contact could go ahead. Following this dds behaviour after contact was concerning, after a routine development check from the health visitor they contact social services as they were concerned about the behaviour and the fact it was occurring when returning from her dads. Children's services subsequently offered early help intervention however my ex refused to engage in this initially for almost a month before finally agreeing to engage - I also gave him the HV mobile number to speak to him about the concerns again it took him 3weeks to contact him but was only done after speaking to the social worker. While all of this was going on ex filed for a change of residence

DD has also now been referred onto camhs to be assessed for ASD, but ex has refused to give his consent for the referral (which I believe he is doing just to cause a delay and is an abuse of his parental responsibility) he said via solicitors he wasn't giving his consent until he is able to speak to the paediatrician giving the referral, yet has told the social worker it was because camhs in his area don't deal with the assessment of ASD, I've taken a look online and found they do deal with the assessment and also have a text message from the social worker confirming what ex had told her. To make matters worse he told her he'd be giving his consent and having his solicitor contact mine, 2 days later and still nothing.

So my questions are, is there anyway of getting him to consent? Will the fact that he keeps refusing to engage in any help and refuses to give his consent on medical issues go against him? And what is the likelihood that the judge will order a change of residence for a 2 yr old with suspected ASD and such move would mean a complete change for DD (nursery etc) as ex lives 45 miles away.

I think all you can do at this stage is keep a detailed diary, only communicate with him by email and keep your HV and social worker fully up to date. Make sure they document everything.

You can't directly force him to consent, but you can get a specific issue order from the courts allowing you to proceed. The courts will not be sympathetic to a parent routinely refusing to consent on medical issues. On the information you have posted he has no chance of getting an order that your daughter should live with him.

Well on top of the above he refuses to do any video calls with DD, despite this being suggested by cafcass and the judge.

Following the HV referral and ex's refusal to engage in early help I did breech the order by saying contact should be supported by one of his family members, initially he refused and didn't see DD and he is using this and the fact that ive raised concerns about him in the past. In a hearing last year he tried to get the judge to order a PSO preventing me from voicing my concerns about him to any professionals (it was all past abuse I had documented) judge obviously said she wouldn't.

you can get a specific issue order from the courts allowing you to proceed. do you know what form the OP would need to use?

@BunnyRuddington

you can get a specific issue order from the courts allowing you to proceed. do you know what form the OP would need to use?

C100

@prh47bridge

You can't directly force him to consent, but you can get a specific issue order from the courts allowing you to proceed. The courts will not be sympathetic to a parent routinely refusing to consent on medical issues. On the information you have posted he has no chance of getting an order that your daughter should live with him.

On what basis do you come to that conclusion?

On the basis of the information posted.

Change of residence is a huge step. The courts are always reluctant to order this unless there is clear evidence that it is in the child's best interests.

CAFCASS have said the father is a risk to the child. That, on its own, means the courts are highly unlikely to order that the OP's daughter lives with him.

He lives 45 miles away, so a change of residence would be a major upheaval for the child. He is refusing consent on medical issues. He is reluctant to engage with social services. These are all points against making an order that the OP's daughter lives with him.

Unless there is something major the OP is not telling us that means her daughter is at risk if she continues to live with the OP, the father has no realistic prospect of getting an order that she lives with him.

C100. Thanks prh. Id have a look at the C100 form and if you need help with the Court fee, have a look at Get help paying Court and Tribunal Feess*..

@prh47bridge nothing major, ex says I'm misleading professionals and I did breach the order once due to safeguarding concerns when ex refused to engage in early help. I didn't withold access but asked that contact be supported and no overnights until back in court.

Oh ex also says I am not including him when booking medical appointments, I always inform him and pass on information. I think only on one occasion I didn't do this but it was because the appointment had been discussed in a tac meeting so it slipped my mind, but ex was aware it was doing to take place and the doctor DD would be seeing.

Oh the tac meeting minutes also have this documented.

Would this be a reason to change residence? Oh and breach was the first occasion that this occurred.

I'd be concerned as to why he doesn't want his child seen by CAMHS. To me that smacks of not wanting something discovering. It is well known that CAMHS have had to take up the slack on ASD pathways over recent years.

No, there is nothing you have disclosed that looks like a good reason to change residence.

@loopyapp that is my concern too, one of many. Not to mention he has told different things to different professionals, said he wasn't aware CAMHs for ASD and thought it was just mental health - but contradicted this in his statement. Also alleges I have misled professionals to get a diagnosis in order to prevent him having contact. Hoping the judge won't take this allegation lightly however I got evidence of the contradictions.. still not nice at all and preventing DD from getting this referral

[quote Wheredidthegoodgo]@loopyapp that is my concern too, one of many. Not to mention he has told different things to different professionals, said he wasn't aware CAMHs for ASD and thought it was just mental health - but contradicted this in his statement. Also alleges I have misled professionals to get a diagnosis in order to prevent him having contact. Hoping the judge won't take this allegation lightly however I got evidence of the contradictions.. still not nice at all and preventing DD from getting this referral[/quote]
Are you in a position to pay privately?

That can be done with only one consenting person with PR?

That can be done with only one consenting person with PR?

If he has PR he is entitled to a say in any treatment. Going private does not remove his right to a say.

Not in the position to do this nor would I to be honest @loopyapp, ex uses the smallest things against me so that would just be the final straw.

@prh47bridge how will the judge view my ex accusing me of Munchausen by proxy? He has no proof but has said that I exaggerated DDs symptoms in order to prevent access, which is effectively Munchausens. I have said that if he truly believes this he should be requesting court to order a psychological assessment

The court won't accept an accusation like that without proof. They are used to parents making unfounded accusations.

@prh47bridge, only proof he has is that I get our DDs medical needs met as drs have seen DD for themselves.

Finally he has consented.. although not actually informed me, I only found out by the HV. So that's one less battle.

@prh47bridge I've discovered ex lied in his statement about a variety of this but also the camhs assessment. I've just sent my statement off and have evidence proving that he has lied and he can't say it was a misunderstanding.. will the judge do anything about this seen as it caused a delay in getting DD referred ?

It will clearly reflect on his ability and may be a factor in determining the outcome of the case, although, as posted previously, even without the lying he has no realistic chance of getting an order that your daughter lives with him. It may also affect the outcome of any other orders under discussion. It is unlikely the judge will take any action beyond that.

Sorry - ability should be credibility in the first sentence.

Thank you @prh47bridge. Cafcass will be doing another observation with my ex hoping this time minus the grandparents

@prh47bridge, sorry to tag you again but I wanted to ask a question or anyone for that matter.

The courts gave permission for both my ex and I to do final statements and for ex to respond to my final statement.. however I cannot respond to his, obviously I understand why this is. But within his response he has made further lies, brought up myself being abused as a child, questioned my mental capacity and made out that I've lied. He has obviously sent this to cafcass to.

Is it possible to ask the judge to do a response? And if it isn't possible, would it be possible to send this over to cafcass?