This is about wanting him to have more contact not less.
I’ll preface this with my DD (aged 6, school year 2) has additional needs that mean she needs regular contact in short bursts. When ExH took me to court when DD was 3, he had 2 nights for tea and EOW Sat to Sun which was just about enough contact, the agreement was that over the first 2 years of her education we’d build up to 5 or 6 days in 14 with them being set days – I wanted ExH to have Tuesday and Wednesday overnight and EOW Fri to Sun or any other 2 consecutive nights. DD would never cope with 50/50, so the agreement was that during holidays the he’d have her Tuesday 9am until Thursday 9am and then Friday 9am until Sunday 4pm. This was a compromise to him as he wanted 50/50 immediately in a 1 off, 1 on week pattern which would be too much for DD.
ExH has always lived 2 miles from, he’s now 0.9-1.1 miles from me depending on which way we go. His house is within the catchment area for her school just (catchment is 1.2m).
Things where going well in DDs reception year, we didn’t change anything between September and December just to let her settle. Then ExH started having her 1 overnight in the week, EOW Sat and Sun plus 1 extra night a week for tea.
Then at the end of DDs reception year he messaged me to ask that I stop the overnight in the week as he was finding the early mornings a struggle to get her to school – there had been no sign of this at all, school say the difference in our arrival times with her was between 2 and 5 minutes (teachers take a register as the child enters the class and they note down time) and we both still had over 10 minutes until the gates where locked. He was late once between January and July 2019 but I was late twice in that time and school thought nothing of it as that’s fairly normal.
He still had her overnight during the 6 weeks holidays. But from September 2019 only had her overnight in the week during holidays. Then in January 2020 he emailed me again saying he was dropping down to 1 night a week for tea only no reason given, it was around this time he moved out of the house 2 miles away and into the one 0.9-1.1 miles. I thought he was going to try and take me back to court but he never did.
When covid hit in March 2020, ExH stopped contact completely citing it as too dangerous. He didn’t see DD at all bar briefly if we bumped into him while shopping or in the local area until August 2020. I tried to restart EOW and 1 night for tea but he refused to have her in the week at all. And just had her overnight on Sat EOW. It was not at all good for DD, she was very unsettled, confused as to the arrangement and several times I got calls from school saying she wanted daddy.
Then in September when DD moved into year 2, ExH said he only wanted to see her on “his” Saturday he wouldn’t give me a set amount of time and it’s been anything from 1 hour to 6 hours, averaging at around 2 hours.
2 hours once a fortnight is not enough for DD, she’s confused, and clinging to me constantly. Before Christmas she was crying at school and getting very distressed asking if daddy wanted her and what had she done wrong.
I’ve tried to discuss it with ExH asking that we go back at least to 1 night a week and EOW (That was just enough) but he shuts me down saying he likes the amount of contact he has with her. I have no idea why he’s cut the contact down.
Is there anything I can do? If I take him back to court are they likely to remove his 2 hours a fortnight? I’m doing my best to reassure DD she’s enough but I think more contact with her dad is the only way to reassure her. I’m exhausted as her conditions cause anxiety and she’s clinging to me every 2nd of the day/