Child Arrangement Order

[AWSX]

Hi guys this is my first post and a bit complicated so I’ll try my best to keep it as short as possible.

I have been with my current partner nearly a year and he has a two year old daughter with his ex. There was a period of a few months early last year when he was denied contact. This was sorted and arrangements were out in place for him to have her 3 nights a week over the weekend every week. This was fine and had no issues until his Ex didn’t get her own way or disagreed with something. There have been several times where I’ve been worried about his daughter and have had to push him to seek legal advice and a child arrangements order for the following reasons.

Firstly, there’s been a couple of times where his ex has changed plans last minute then decided to block him on everything so he has no contact this can last 2+ weeks. This happened with arrangements over Christmas. As it was their first Christmas apart we were going to have his daughter and his ex was picking her up at 6:30pm when she finished work. However, she then quit her job and as soon as she realised she wasn’t working Christmas told him she was staying at her friends and he could come Christmas morning and blocked him.

Also, she has regularly been breaking lockdown rules by going to 3+ houses and attending parties he’s asked her a couple of times to stop as it’s putting their daughter and everyone else at risk. This escalated when his ex tested positive for COVID and demanded that his daughter be brought back to isolate with her because she’d miss her, despite putting her at risk. It then got even worse when she was admitted to hospital because of the COVID and didn’t tell my partner. He found out through his own mum as his ex asked her not to tell him. The problem with this is that his daughter was left with her mum who isn’t allowed to look after her because of mental health and alcohol issues. My partner went and picked his daughter up as he was worried about her, to which he received a barrage of phone abusive phone calls from his ex demanding that she was taken back or she’ll ring the police.

This is only the tip of the iceberg and it’s a continuous cycle when she doesn’t get her own way. My partner is begging to see his daughter but she’s now refusing all contact. He has always done her favours and paid her more than recommended by CMS as he was willing to do anything to see her.

We have now applied for a C100 and appointed a solicitor. However, his ex is now claiming domestic abuse to get legal aid as she would be unable to afford it otherwise. She called the police twice during the relationship, no charges were ever filed and she has admitted she’s the one that abused him. We are due to receive her C7 response by the end of the week and I’m just looking for some advice and reassurance on the matter. My partner is going for 60/40 custody and isn’t trying to take her from her completely, we just have serious concerns for her welfare when she is with his ex!

Sorry for the long winded post! Thank you for any help x

Si many 'we'. There are no 'we' at this point, you've been with him less than a year and the break up was clearly still fresh.

No offense OP, but you should stay out of it. Listen to your partner but don't get involved in decision.

It's highly likely that the situation is not as black and white as it's been delayed to you yet you have already decided that mum is being a pest.

This will only escalate and make things worse.

As your partner has a solicitor on this I wouldn't be asking a public message board what the opinions of anonymous poster are.

Two reasons:

1. You don't know who we are. I am a family law solicitor, but you have no way of verifying that.
2. His solicitor knows 100x what you've managed to post on this thread.

So, in effect, you're asking strangers to second guess the professional your partner is actually paying for.

Op, with the greatest of respect.. It's not "we", it's him. He's the father. You're not the daughters mother or step mother. Step back and let him deal with it.

"she has admitted she’s the one that abused him" - this sounds very unlikely.

Have you made use of Claire's Law? How do you know her allegations of domestic violence are unfounded?

Children aren't packages to "take" and you don't own percentages of their lives. This must be a highly distressing situation for the child and perhaps your efforts would be better directed at being supportive of this vulnerable child rather than fueling conflict.

Unless you have a wedding ring on your finger you have no stake in the game step back and let him handle it

Hi OP.

I'd advise looking on Facebook for a page called children's rights UK. They are very helpful for mums and dads alike.

Domestic abuse is alleged in 80% of family court cases. I suspect it's quite easy for a judge to tell when the person alleging is telling lies as they tend to fall apart under scrutiny which has been my experience. The sad thing, no, the disgusting thing is when people make up allegations of domestic abuse because it makes other peoples testimony more difficult to believe. Also, I have had to use money which would undoubtedly been my daughters inheritance paying legal fees.

I couldn't see a question in there really. Did you have anything more specific to ask?

I have been going through family court for a year for shared care and have found the court system and social services fine.

I suppose it is a bit of a red flag for your partners ex to be calling the police in their relationship. Why would she ring the police for no reason?

@Theunamedcat

Unless you have a wedding ring on your finger you have no stake in the game step back and let him handle it

Even then you have NO rights and only one side of the story. She contacted the police twice for a reason. Where has she admitted she abused him? To him ? I doubt it. How big of you to only ask for 60/40 and wtf has it got to do with you anyway.