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legal advice about child access

5 replies

angrymoma · 17/02/2021 22:44

Hello,

i am just after a bit of advice really, if anyone could help that would be great.

long storey short as i have just typed the long version and my phone died, so going to keep it short lol, i have 3 children with a guy who hasnt really been involved in their life from day one (his choice) he never paid any maintenance for the first 3 years and never had regular access despite my pushing for him to be involved in his kids life! anyhow in 2012 he decided to take me to court for access ( which i had never denied, he just couldn't be bothered) i do feel this was pressure from his family that made him apply for court, simple case i had no objection and within a hour there was a court order for him to see his kids which was fine by me, he then started to pay me £50 a fortnight towards them, in 2013 he turned up 2 hours earlier than normal said he couldnt have them that weekend for reasons which would be deemed as avoidable, to a normal person and he had known for sometime that he wouldn't be able to have them but decided to leave it to 2 hours before he was to collect them.. anyhow two weeks later i called him to make sure he was collecting them he never answered the phone, i was at a funeral and i kept calling i think i made over 30 calls and he never answered so didnt have them and the next time he was due to have them the phone was off and was off ever since. as i say that was in 2013 i haven't spoken to him since ir seen him since he hasn't paid any maintenance, never sent the kids a birthday card or christmas card never called them or nothing. I did get a message in 2019 from a woman i have never spoken to or met saying she was his wife and that he wants to see his kids. ( she could contact me as my number had not changed in all them years!) so had he wanted to he could have got hold of me, i told her if thats the case why is she contacting me not him and i don't even know her and it is really non of her business i dont care what he wants he made his choice i only want whats best for my kids and he is a stranger to them, if and when the kids ask to see him (which i believe they will one day) then i will be in touch until then don't bother contacting me again she replied thats not good enough he has rights and he only has my word that i will contact him! my word is good enough and if she don't like it tough he does not get to demand anything after dumping the kids for (5 years at that time). then she started typing and i ignored her. that was in 2019 i have just received a letter saying he has applied to court for access and claimed that i ceased access breaking the court order causing him to have a breakdown etc etc he said that he has tried to contact me over the years but has been unsuccessfull yet his wife could contact me he could get a letter about court to me but couldnt access his kids in nearly 7 years i need to know where i stand here and what i can do about this as i honestly cant believe he feels forcing his way in there lives after 7 years is in their best interest! i think the pressure is coming from the wife if i am honest cos he hasn't cared in 7 years!
can anyone advise me what to do please

OP posts:
BingeOnChocolate · 18/02/2021 06:52

It's hard to say where you stand as you put it without know why you withheld when he was meant to be seeing them or subsequent weekends OR was it a case he never came back to see them?

I would write everything down in a clear chronological order. If you have any texts or messages including the ones from his wife I would have them ready just in case and to show he could have contacted you.

How old are the children now? If they are at the age the courts deem sufficient in making their own mind up then I doubt it will get far or go his way.

angrymoma · 18/02/2021 08:15

thank you for your reply, i never stopped him seeing them he never came came to see them, never made any attempt to contact them, i lived in the same house for 3 years and had the same number up to December 2019. He just never bothered, The children are 12 and 9 now, he knows where my mum lives as this is where he sent the court paper work the first time and then the same this time. He just vanished for 7 years and then demands that he has contact now

thank you again

OP posts:
BingeOnChocolate · 18/02/2021 08:57

It will be a case of him evidencing how he's tried to keep and maintain contact. I would just go in with the facts so timelines etc explaining no birthday or celebration cards and no contact. The 12 year old will be able to say what they want and the 8 year old, depending on maturity, will also be listened too

angrymoma · 18/02/2021 11:02

thank you for your help i was hoping they wouldn’t involve the kids and accept that he binned them off for 7 years they are happy and have regular routine and this is just going to upset their hole mental wellbeing, its wrong the court would even consider upsetting children because a absent father of their own doing is only thinking of himself as per usual and what He wants it really boils my blood how he has treated the kids. anyhow thank you for your help

OP posts:
BingeOnChocolate · 18/02/2021 11:28

They would have to speak to them but they are really good in not putting words in their mouth. Good luck with everything

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