Breast feeding and over night access for Dad

[november90]

Does anyone know when a court would likely ask a mum to stop contact breast feed for a fathers over night access?
Pumping is not an option.
I've read online it's between 1.5-2 yrs. does anyone have any advise/experience around this?
Based in the UK. Baby under 1.

I looked into this a lot when my ex was threatening court, luckily he didn't go down that route in the end. I done A LOT of research and I was told that a dad would have to build up a secure bond before overnight access would be a thing, I don't know how true it is but I read around 4 years old is when to expect overnights but hopefully someone with experience will advise you.

I was pregnant when my ex left so he wasn't around to form a bond and when he was visiting he was more interested in his phone etc..

Good luck it's such a horrible thought to have to be away from your baby but hopefully your little ones dad will actually build up that bond with your baby and be a positive part of their life x

Thank you so much for the reply.
My ex left me when I was 5 months pregnant. We do have an older child who he has overnight but o know that he will push for overnights with the baby when he turns one. He only sees him a few hours a week due to his work currently.
I don't want to be forced to give up breast feeding as my baby comfy feeds to sleep and also I don't feel comfortable him sleeping over when he can't communicate to me if everything is ok :(
Ex has been horrendously emotionally abusive and controlling to me :(
I'm so distressed by all of this!

This may help www.laleche.org.uk/breastfeeding-contact-cases/

Hi there thank you for the reply. I've had a look at the website and it's really helpful. It does just sort of confirm though what I read online, that the benefits of breastfeeding Is taken into consideration but also is the access for the other parent. I've not denying access To my ex, however I'm not willing to allow overnight access to happen until the baby is ready. I do plan on breastfeeding in past 12 months and when I go back to work most of his feeds will be during the night. Like I said before he has contact breastfeeding, I can't pump. He Sooth feeds to sleep and that is exactly what I did to my eldest. Especially with coronavirus going around I don't want to feel bullied into stopping something which has such nutritional and mental benefits to my baby. Also, the baby has never lived with the other parent. Although we recognise him because he sees in for a few hours a week I don't think that he will be anywhere near being away from me weekly overnight. He will never see it like this. He just accuses me of being a liar all the time. He accuses me of not feeding the baby, he accuse me of faking a dairy allergy for the baby. I can already see the storm that's ahead of me and I just want to be prepared :(

Try Facebook group Breastfeeding older babies and beyoned. They usually know laws and links about this.

It is your right and your child's right to breastfeed so no one (not even a court) should be asking you to stop ever. The world health organisation specifically recommend breastfeeding for 2 years and BEYONED. Over night contact may vary in terms of court but breastfeeding should not be asked to stop. I would be very surprised if this happened.

I am not super knowledgeable about this so do join group i mentioned and ask them too.

Imagine if ex starts pushing for overnights, maybe you could suggest a prolonged plan of getting to that point. If he has child on saturdays (for example) for 2 hours then maybe every month increase it by one hour? With aim to working to over nights etc. If never had child on his own, maybe start with an 1 hour and build up with half hours every month until fully comfortable etc. Might show a willing to move to over nights eventually just doing so over a planned period. That FB group would be good at suggesting age range likely to happen and tips to make it work for child etc.

Oh, if abusive then I'd take more time for sure.

Thank you so much! I have joined the group so looking forward to seeing the posts :)
The issue for me is that I can't pump. I couldn't pump enough for a feed with my eldest and my ex knows this and it's been the same again. He will just W use me of lying and from what I've read they try and encourage pumping for older babies :(

Try Rights of Women, they have an informative website and a free helpline, and will be able to advise on the abuse side of things.

They might try to encourage pumping but they can't force you. It is not an easy task to pump milk and a lot of women just can't. Myself included.

I read this to make my point if I ever needed to https://breastfeeding.support/custody-and-breastfeeding/

So sorry you're in this scenario, it took away so much of my happiness when I become a new mum. It's so unfair that they leave and then you have to be away from your baby . I knew my ex wasn't interested in my little boy really, it was all to get to me, we haven't seen him for months now. I really hope you get something in place that suits you and your baby is happy with, I don't think baby's should be away from their mummy but that's just my opinion, is he definitely going through court? X