Legal advice towards child access

[Ell20]

Hi everyone! Long story short my partner has a child with an ex, she has been kept from him for 4 years. He’s tried mediation which she didn’t show, contacting her through social media where she agreed to contact then blocked him the next day.

Do you always have to pay an upfront cost when seeking legal advice/ going to court? Or can you do it and start a payment plan? It would take us a long time to save so just looking for advice in the financial route if possible. Hope this makes sense 😊

No, you don't. Your partner (not you) could talk to Gingerbread's advice line or to Citizen's Advice free of charge and then do the paperwork himself.
It really isn't difficult.

It costs £215 to apply to court and represent himself.

If this has been going on for four years with no contact it sounds like your partner isn't as interested in getting this resolved as you think. A quick Google search would have told him everything he needed to know quite easily.

Yeah. 4 years isn't good. There are ways and means. As pp said a simple Google search would've told him he can usually get 30 minutes free legal advice with most f
Law firms.. Then he can fill in the paperwork and pay the court fee and represent himself. This could've been resolved a long time ago. More and more people are becoming litigant in person.

From a blokes perspective.

Yes, 4 years is dreadful. I had court papers in within a month. However, surely there is some culpability from the mother? Unless there is a reason to avoid contract

Regarding fees. I pay monthly. My Solicitor is really lovely. She says to call in the evenings for free advice from a mums perspective. Although I suspect she just feels sad for me.

I have noticed that some solicitors do a capped fee kind of thing. Alternatively you might want to try a McKenzie friend.

From what I have seen over the past year there wouldn’t have been much I couldn’t have done myself if you wanted to go down that route. It’s all fairly straight forward.

Hi. Yes there is some culpability from the mother. Without going into to much detail she and her family accused him of things he didn’t do to have a reason to take the child away from him. Police where involved until she got caught out lying about it and charges were dropped. That’s when he arranged mediation which she didn’t show up to after saying she would. He ended up with depression and anxiety from the situation which is why it’s been years. I know in a way it’s no excuse but mental health does play a part in this situation. He’s gotten back on his feet and is ready. Thankyou for your advice. It’s possible he could represent himself im seeing from comments above so if he’s confident enough that sounds doable from a financial perspective. Do you mind me asking around how much you pay monthly? I know it’ll more than likely differ for each person and situation

Awww, I really feel for your partner. I am currently in bed moping for daughter for similar reasons. I can see why some dads give up but it feels like half of me is missing somewhere and I can't move on with my life without my daughter is back in it.

I have been consumed with family law for the last year so and have read all the different views on the matter. I had all the allegations too which were all unfounded. It's difficult enough missing your child and then having to deal with the accusations too so your partner has my sympathy from that perspective.

I think I have likely spent about 16k over the past 14 months on Solicitors fees. In hindsight I wouldn't have bothered and would have got a Direct Access Barrister for the final hearing. I have a good salary so I am not too concerned but I don't suspect my Solicitor has really helped much.

Maybe you want to think about the outcome you are hoping to achieve. If your partner just wants the usual dad setup - alternate weekends and Wednesdays and there are no safeguarding concerns then you might as well just self represent if money is tight. The current presumption in law is that it's in a child's best interest to have both parents involved and that is a standard arrangement.

The above scenario is based on your partners ex not going down the route of bringing up old previous allegations. If she does then maybe look for a McKenzie friend if money is an issue.

It is really tough being a dad and dealing with a recalcitrant and obstructive ex. The amount of times I have been knocked down. It feels like I am constantly running through a Gladiatorum just so I can have my little girl back.

I wish you all the best! Let me know if there is anything else I can do to help.

If he's representing himself he won't need to pay anything other than the £215 court application fee.
You would only need to pay something else (in instalments or otherwise agreed with a solicitor) if he was taking legal advice. If money is an issue but he isn't confident in the application I know of people who paid solicitors to draft the application form and submit it on their behalf (around here it was circa £450) and then continued on alone.
He will need a MIAM certificate unless he falls under one of the exemptions whereby this isn't needed. Usually domestic violence related. If not, he will need to attend a mediation appointment, they will offer the ex the chance to attend, if they choose not to he will be issued with the MIAM for his court application. I believe these expire after four months so don't leave it too long afterwards to put the court application in.

There are some great lawyers on Mumsnet, so I'm sure someone more knowledgeable than me will turn up and point you in the right direction. Will all due respect though your partner needs to take the reins on this, not you. Be there for support but if he can't put the effort in at that stage he won't make it through the slog of court, which lasts months. I've just finished my reasonably simple CAO process and its only just finished 8 months later.

The C100 application is really easy to complete:
www.gov.uk/government/publications/form-c100-application-under-the-children-act-1989-for-a-child-arrangements-prohibited-steps-specific-issue-section-8-order-or-to-vary-or-discharge

That's the one to get you started. I wouldn't pay to have someone complete it if I were you it's very simple.

haha, yes as freezedriedromance says. This is not for the feint hearted. If your partners ex digs her heels in and your partner has no staying power it won't work.

There's already been police involvement which kind of indicates that this is going to be a battle, so you should be warned it could be an absolute rollercoaster!

It might come down to how much you are prepared to do to help him. And maybe that's not wrong? Maybe that's a calculation you will need to make because sometimes these situations turn into nightmares.

Thank yous for your advice! I know it’s all down to him, not me. But I can and will offer him support. We know this isn’t going to be easy and I will be there for him every step of the way. We also have a child who is 6 months. I’m sorry to hear about you and your little girl. It’s heartbreaking. They don’t realise they’re denying their children. I hope everything works out for you

Oh that's sweet, you will be a little family unit!

I think it's nice that you are helping him. That's what relationships are supposed to be fore - to help one another.

Good luck with it all!

That’s exactly right. We’re a team. Thanks so much for your help. Good luck to you too 😊