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Ex applying for order of sale of jointly owned home! Desperate for guidance

31 replies

Trolleydolly789 · 30/01/2021 21:39

Hi there hoping to try and keep this post brief but it’s a bit complicated so apologies if I waffle! My ex and I aren’t married we do have three children our youngest is 7! We split last year and he left the family home. We agreed that rather than him pay maintenance he would just continue to pay the mortgage then when our youngest starts high school we would sell and split the difference (the school is on our estate and impossible to get into if you live out of catchment) anyway ex has met someone new and decided he wants to buy with her! In April he applied for a mortgage break for six months citing financial
hardship (he earns £60k a year) and he refused to give me any money for the children during the six months! The six months ended December and he’s paying the mortgage again but he wants to force the house sale. He has applied
for an order of sale! He went to a mediation mtg behind my back and told his solicitor I refused to come I didn’t even know about it I was actually at work! He’s told me that if I fight him he will pass any costs incurred on to me and has also advised that he won’t be paying maintenance once the house is sold as I’ll have the money from the house! He knows I can’t afford to fight him and he knows I can’t chase for maintenance as he won’t give me his address! I’m raising his three kids who I’ve protected fed and loved through a global pandemic and this is how he repays me what on Earth do I do I feel desperate i can’t eat I can’t sleep and when I ask him to reconsider he tells me that I can stay in the house for two more years provided i sign a document that his solicitor will draw up saying that he will pay the mortgage but nothing else and then I must sell and I must accept his terms regardless! If don’t I’m out now and he will take me for as much as he can and I’ll have nothing! Can he actually do this to us? I’ve never felt so broken down and vulnerable he’s holding me to ransom

OP posts:
Avidreader12 · 31/01/2021 16:45

I actually think parties shouldn’t be expected to continue to pay for a house they don’t live in. You jointly state you own the house but is there a deed of trust? If the house sells would you get 50% of equity after the mortgage is paid off? He probably thought offering to pay the mortgage instead of child support was easiest but he’s then still tied to your mortgage and there’s nothing to stop you still claiming child support it makes it hard to buy with someone else he may have been told he can’t borrow without being released from your mortgage. It sounds like he wants to force sale as your not giving any other option have you looked into buying him out? Also you must have agreed the mortgage payment holiday as both parties have to agree otherwise lenders could be liable if one party said they weren’t aware the mortgage wasn’t being paid. Family solicitor can give half an hour free legal advice which I would do.

Avidreader12 · 31/01/2021 16:55

I meant to add I know you mentioned furlough but have you looked to make sure your claiming all the benefits you can single person council tax possible universal credit. A lender like the Halifax is very sympathetic to lending on single incomes in transfer of equity situations an independent broker L&C can point you in right direction if you start looking into a mortgage of your own

DeeCeeCherry · 31/01/2021 17:05

DifficultBloodyWoman
Advice remains the same as on your other thread

*1. Seek legal advice regarding the forced sake of the house

  1. start a cms claim*

He has left you and you need to focus on the future. Stop catastrophising and sit down with a lawyer to work out your best options

^^This

It's a horrible situation but you need to be active, not passive. 'He said/did this or that' isn't going to help you.

You've had some good advice on this and previous thread. You could start the ball rolling tomorrow.

Search online for targeted advice and where you can get free legal advice. Even contacting Citizens Advice Bureau is something.

Willthisneverend · 02/02/2021 19:37

I am following this with interest as I am in a very similar position. My ex applied to a mediator but gave them the wrong email address for me, so I didn't get the notification! When I got his solicitor's letter saying I had refused mediation I got the name of the mediation company concerned and they were able to confirm that he had given them the wrong info.
I don't think you can antagonize him much more so I wouldn't worry about that. He is trying to bully you because he knows a lot of what he is threatening you with , costs etc. Is out of his control. Contact CMS about maintenance, he may be self employed but his business must be registered somewhere. I had the non mol papers served on my ex at work.
If he takes you to court and you can claim that you can't afford to put a roof over his children's head, if you are forced to move, I think the judge will be sympathetic. Your ex has to tell a judge that he wants to make his children homeless. Combine this with his threats, that you record, reneging on his commitments, and sneakiness around the mediation and he is not going to come up smelling of roses.
Find a solicitor who will give you 1/2 hour free, contact Women's Aid, they may know of one - you really do need some legal advice. And, do some sums. If I am forced out, I can't afford to buy and any rental will cost me about £700 per month more than I pay now, so I can't afford that either, and ex says he will get an injunction to stop me moving out of the area! So I have prepared spreadsheets proving this. Work out what you would accept, this is where you need legal advice.
I am now going to mediation with him but don't think it will achieve anything because he thinks the mediator will just agree with him and tell me to sell. Good Luck Flowers

DrCoconut · 03/02/2021 13:24

@4Mongrels I do know of someone who can now expect very limited compensation for loss of income due to covid because of what he declared for CMS. A big slice of karma pie there.

Honeyroar · 03/02/2021 22:16

[quote DrCoconut]@4Mongrels I do know of someone who can now expect very limited compensation for loss of income due to covid because of what he declared for CMS. A big slice of karma pie there.[/quote]
Me too! And his daughter is now 13 and refused to see him anymore. Karma pie for him too!!

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