Ex won't agree to DC having counselling

[whendaphnemetsimon]

I'm posting this on behalf my DSis. I'll try and keep this as succinct as possible, but there is a large backstory. I have also tried to be factual.

DSis split from her ex in Dec 17. Their DC are 9, 7 and 4. There have been various issues with ex badmouthing DSis to the DC, shouting at her in front of them and insisting that his new DF has parental responsibility. Over the last year she has had to get solicitors involved on a few occasions due to this and the control that ex likes to exert.

They have 50:50 which only started last March due to the pandemic. Prior to that he had them every weekend. His DF is his second live in GF since the split. There have only ever been very short gaps and his GFs take on a full parenting role when the DC are with him.

The 9 and 7 year old have struggled with the divorce and were receiving counselling at shcool. The 9 year old has SPD and possible aspergers and dyslexia. She has displayed signs of OCD for around 4-5 years now. The 7 year old has issues with food and has displayed behavioural problems. The 4 year old has had toileting and sleep issues.

Overall, given the issues (the above is just the tip of the iceberg) my DSis believes that continuing counselling would be of great benefit to them. The school have offered online sessions during the lockdown. Ex and his DF have stated that the DC have to decide if they want to have counselling. The DC have apparently said they don't want it, and ex informed the school without consulting DSis first. DSis has had a big argument this morning with ex's DF, who is of the opinion that DSis is coercing the DC into having counselling. DSis feels strongly that the DC at this age don't know what is best for them in this regard.

Is there anything that DSis can do? Does this merit a Specific Issue Order? What is a court likely to say/do?

I would question whether the ex has the ability to put the children's welfare above everything else. If health professionals have indicated the child would benefit from counselling then that should take place unless there are compelling reasons for that advice to be ignored.
Yes, I'd think this is appropriate to return to court for the appropriate order with evidence from the health professionals/school as to what is in the best interests of the children.
The alternative or alongside that, mediation might be helpful in putting the parents together to work together in establishing a joint parenting approach.

Thanks for your answer. They have done mediation before, but it didn't work. He would only do it if DSis paid for it. He then insisted on shuttle mediation and turned up 20 mins late. They made progress in the session, but he then sent numerous emails to the mediator detailing why what they had agreed in mediation doesn't actually suit him after all.