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Incitement to breach bail??? Help!!!

7 replies

Smallmum55 · 24/01/2021 14:39

Hi,
I posted previously about some concerns relating to this situation and received some great help from a couple of members but i was wondering if anyone has any experience with being accused of inciting a breach of bail in a domestic abuse case.
Long story short - my ex partner attacked me at the start of last year. He was let out on bail but that bail lapsed due to the trial being delayed and he got in contact with me again. I spoke to him for a bit but when i made it clear I didn't want to be in a relationship with him he attempted suicide outside my house, was arrested and released on bail again....He immediately started texting me which I ignored for two weeks....this resulted in him coming over to my house and damaging property...and he was arrested and released on bail again.
After this he started posting about me on fb every day for a month (i ignored this), and then moved on to texting again. I ignored these for a while but I was very pregnant and unwell at this time and just sick of the whole thing so I ended up replying and agreed to meet him as he wanted to chat. He was insistent I went to his house and I refused to do that for ages (I wanted to meet in a public place)...until I gave in and went to his. At this point he he started trying to get back with me and I kept saying I wasn't interested and this went on via text for a couple of weeks (with me just getting exhausted at some points and agreeing to try and get back together and possibly move in...I had no intention of doing this but this guy is very scary, intimidating and manipulative) He also knows how to wind me up and there were a few nasty words said between us by text.
Now, I reported all of this to the police yesterday (unfortunately i only had afew screenshots....not everything) and the officer said I'm not being arrested now but I might have been if I looked like I was inciting him to breach bail!!!!!
I don't think I did, I certainly didn't intend to, but I'm worried that when they talk to him he might manipulate my words or I might have unintentionally said something that trips me up. Keep in mind that he has a lawyer for this case and I don't (as technically in just a witness for the fiscal) so I'm sure they will be going through it with a fine tooth comb.
I'm absolutely regreting going to the police with this now.
Does anyone have experience with this and able to offer any help?
I'm in Scotland.

OP posts:
Pebbledashery · 24/01/2021 17:51

I think the only thing you should be prepared to answer is why did you agree to meet up with him if he assaulted you and is awaiting trial. Presumably you've told people you're scared of him.. But meeting up with him and texting him doesn't reflect what you're saying. I know how hard it is.. I left a very violent and abusive relationship last year and haven't spoken to my abuser since the day i left him.. Do you still have feelings for him or feel like you're struggling to detach yourself? I'm not judging you.. But probably wasn't the smartest idea to meet up with him if you've told everyone you're scared of him.

Smallmum55 · 24/01/2021 19:34

@Pebbledashery
I know. I was a total idiot. I have no desire to get back with him at all. In his messages to me he was very threating and manipulative and, in my opinion suffers from mental health issues so I was always scared to report him as I was afraid of repucussions and I thought i could handle it myself by talking to him and dealing with it without involving the police again.
It was me being a naive, scared and confused idiot.

OP posts:
Shmithecat2 · 24/01/2021 19:44

You need to block him.

partyatthepalace · 24/01/2021 19:48

So sorry OP

I don’t think anyone will arrest you under the circs, but for heavens sake don’t do it again or you could bugger the case up - that’s what the PO was trying to get across I imagine.

Change your number, and block him from social media. I presume you can’t move... do you have other kids /,could you stay w parents / would you want to?

Smallmum55 · 24/01/2021 19:58

@partyatthepalace
@Shmithecat2
He's blocked on everything now.
I just want the whole thing to be over now so I can properly move on with my life.
I'm just absolutely terrified that after he's interviewed I'll get a visit from police to arrest me. Honestly, I've not ate/slept in two days with worrying about.
I'm an idiot and I've learned my lesson!

OP posts:
partyatthepalace · 25/01/2021 00:20

You’ve had an awful time.

I hope you have some support in the meantime and can move forward. Honestly I wouldn’t worry about being arrested - just try and focus forward.

Shmithecat2 · 25/01/2021 11:09

[quote Smallmum55]@partyatthepalace
@Shmithecat2
He's blocked on everything now.
I just want the whole thing to be over now so I can properly move on with my life.
I'm just absolutely terrified that after he's interviewed I'll get a visit from police to arrest me. Honestly, I've not ate/slept in two days with worrying about.
I'm an idiot and I've learned my lesson![/quote]
That's a great step forward OP. Keep strong!

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