Bail advice! Please help.

[Smallmum55]

My ex was arrested at the start of last year for domestic assault and vandalism of my property. He was put on a court ordered bail not to see me. As time went on he got back in touch and i stupidly allowed myself to talk to him and meet up....this resulted in him attempting suicide in my garden when I told him I had no interest in restarting a relationship with him after what he did. He was arrested again and kept on bail....He kept texting me (which I just ignored originally but he ended up vandalizing my current partners car so I took those texts to the police and his bail was renewed again)....after this he continued putting up fb posts about me and then texting me again (asking me to get back together and to drop the case against him). For weeks he kept on and i ignored him but He kept harrassing me to meet up with him at his house to talk again (which I eventually did) and got me into arguments with him via text. I didn't report this as I was 8 months pregnant, very unwell and just wanted it all to go away. He eventually stopped and there's been no contact for 3 months....but it goes to court next month for the original offences and I worried they court will find out that he broke bail and I didn't report it or I'll have to lie in court and say he hadn't been in contact again or I'll get myself in trouble to meeting him and replying to his texts.
Even though months have past should I report his breech of bail? Will I get in trouble for talking to him and meeting up with him while he was on bail AGAIN?? As this will be the second time that's happened.
Any advice would be great.

Police officer here.

Do you have a named Police Officer or DV support worker. You should get in contact with them and let them know. It's not too late and it's important that you do just so you have been completely transparent. Don't feel bad as it's very common for these type of offenders to just grind the victim down. It is really important going forward tho that you report it straight away next time and don't engage with or respond to him in anyway. Makes our job much easier when it comes to proving stalking or harassment.

Oh and no, you won't get in any trouble yourself. I promise.

@Desmondo2016
Thank you so much for your advice.
I've been making myself ill with worry over this for weeks.
He knows exactly what to say to wind me up so it started with me ignoring him, then telling him i wasn't going to meet him and eventually decended into nasty texts between us before I said enough and I havint heard from him since...that's my worry, because I said some nasty things to him that he could use those against me...Also it will be the second time I'll have to admit to police I spoke to him when I shouldn't have. I know I'm an idiot but he's very manipulative.
Even though about 3 months has past, would he still get arrested for breaching bail or would it be let go now?
Thanks again for your help. It's very much appreciated.

He may not get arrested this time (hard to say as different forces will have a slightly different approach and with the time that has passed since the necessity to arrest in order to protect a vulnerable person has diminished somewhat) but it will be recorded to help build the bigger picture especially if the case is not resolved yet or if (and I hope this isn't the case) there are further issues in the future.

Also, if there are any kind of ongoing proceedings re any children, family court etc then it's best you are upfront about anything that's happened so he can't fling it back at you. You can't change the past and I promise it won't get you in trouble but you do need to do things the black and white way going forward just to make it very clear that there is a 'good, compliant' person and an 'offending' person.

@Desmondo2016 Thank you.
I also have texts where he's telling me that I need to get the police to drop the bail and charges to stop him going to jail so I'll give those over too. I have an appointment to speak to an officer tomorrow. Thanks for putting my mind at rest a bit

Good luck with the appointment. Will you post afterwards with an update? (That makes me sound nosey but I'm genuinely interested)

@Desmondo2016 That's me just spoken to them. They took a statement and are arresting him as he broke bail.
Due to me reply to his messages, etc, I was worried that i'd get arrested too.
He said I was "skirting" with getting arrested as my replying to him, engaging with conversation and meeting him could be seen as Incitement....but I wont be arrested right now.
It has got me worried though as the guy and I both said nasty things to each other and I'm worried that something I've said or done could trip me up and then I'd get arrested for Incitment

Not in a million years. He's talking tosh and if he was in my team he would be getting a right talking to. It's never ever going to be incitement if you are a victim of ongoing domestic abuse and harassment.

@Desmondo2016
I'm hoping he was trying to scare me into reporting it straight away if he contacts me again (and it's worked, I'm definitely scared)
He said that it will be Incitement if the guy has any messages that show ME arranging to meet him or "leading him on" in any way.
I don't think there are but I'm still totally panicking! He also said the Procurator Fiscal could decide to charge me if she thinks there was any Incitement on my part.

Agree with @Desmondo2016 there’s lots of new practice for agencies who are working with people experiencing domestic abuse. But please, the next time he contacts you, report to the police. I know you’ll be panicking after what the police officer said to you but the reality is that professionals now understand that sometimes it’s safer for victims of domestic abuse to maintain some form of contact. It about how you can be supported to break that cycle. I’d hope that the PF has some understanding of this too.

@Itsabloodybingthing
I called for an update and the officer I spoke to was talking about what kind of bail he's be likely to get this time and he also mentioned that it's "a crime if you're seen to be trying to get them to brake bail conditions"....obviously I didn't do this but I'm worried that he may twist my messages or words to make it seem like that or I'll have said something stupid at some point that makes it seem like that.
Another sleepless night for me I think!

Are you in the UK? My advice was very UK based although I doubt it differs greatly, I wouldn't have a clue about policies and processes in different countries. (I saw you mentioned the procurator fiscal which isn't a term we use in UK!)

I’m assuming you’re in Scotland OP?

@Itsabloodybingthing
@Desmondo2016
Yep I'm in Scotland.
He was bailed again (third time in 10 months) so I'm a bit nervous as I'm sure he'll be furious that I reported him. I'm just hoping he leaves me alone now and doesn't try to cause anymore problems or stir things.

Ahh I see, sorry I should have said 'England' not UK. Keep us posted and remember even if he just sends you a single text REPORT IT!!

@Desmondo2016
He was arrested and let out on bail again (third time getting bail)
Unfortunately, due to this, the court case has been pushed to the summer. Which will be a year and a half after the original incidents. I'm guessing that means it won't be taken as seriously when it gets to court now due to the time that's past.