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Imminent separation - need advice if possible!

4 replies

starofandromeda · 09/01/2021 18:50

Hello, thank you for reading. I'm looking for some advice about finances if I separate from my husband. Sorry if this is a bit long!

I've been married for nearly 5 years and have a 6 year old son and 5 year old daughter with my husband. He has a 20 year old daughter from a previous marriage who is at university and lives with her boyfriend.
I moved into my husband's house just before my son was born (so over 6 years ago) and have contributed to the mortgage since. For about one year of our marriage it was only myself paying the mortgage and bills as my husband didn't do much work (he is a self employed business consultant) He is however working more again now.
I work as a GP four days a week and do pretty much all of the childcare. This is one of the main issues in our relationship, I contribute as much as him financially and work just as much but do all of the childcare and housework with him often lying in bed until I've dropped the children off and got to work. (this is another long story......)

I own a house in a different city which is in my name only and is currently rented. (bought prior to I met him. we never lived there together) The mortgage and bills for this have only ever come out of my account, never from our joint account. My husband did however pay for a new central heating system for the house about 7 years ago.

My husband owns a house which is rented and bought prior to our marriage. The mortgage for this comes out of our joint account so I have contributed to this since we moved in together. As mentioned above, there have been months where only I have paid the mortgage for this property when he wasn't able to contribute.

Due to many reasons I am considering separation. I need to know where I would stand financially. We both have our own accounts and a joint account. My husband has his business account which is where he keeps most of his money and just transfers the minimum to our joint account for bills. We both have separate pensions. He is able to contribute a lot more to his due to his earnings (which are a lot more than mine and to be honest I don't even know exactly how much he earns. Again this has been another big issue in our relationship)

If we separated and it was my decision would I have to leave with the children? If I did this would I forfeit any right to the property as it is in his name not mine?

If we were to divorce would he be entitled to half of my rental property even if he has never contributed to the mortgage and it's just in my name?

The reason for separation would be unreasonable behaviour. I am going to try to encourage him to have marriage counselling but I know he will refuse.....
Thank you very much for any help you can given me I'm very grateful!

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 09/01/2021 19:55

You really need to consult a solicitor. However, who leaves has absolutely nothing to do with who the children live with. Similarly, it has no effect on the finances. If you divorce all your assets and all his assets will have to be declared. If you cannot agree the finances between you, the first priority for the courts will be to meet everybody's reasonable needs. If there is more than enough to achieve that, there are a range of factors the courts will consider to determine what would be a fair split.

dontdisturbmenow · 10/01/2021 17:07

The ownership of the properties doesn't matter in divorce, what's his us tours and vice versa.

Your situation is complex due to a marriage that just over what is considered a short marriage, assets accrued before marriage, children still young, a business and self employment.

Only a solicitor looking into your case in more detail will be able to advise.

starofandromeda · 10/01/2021 19:55

Thank you for your help. Of course I will get a solicitors advice if we can’t reconcile things.
Thank you abs Ian

OP posts:
starofandromeda · 10/01/2021 19:56

Thank you again it should have said!

OP posts:
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