I have 2 kids but am not married. Will marrying my DP be beneficial?

[tier4fuckoff]

My and my DP have 2 young children.

Our mortgage is in both our names.

He pays mortgage and bills and I have covered food, clothes, house stuff etc. But now I am no longer working, to stay home and look after the kids.

What would be the difference if we split up now, as opposed to splitting up if we were married?

I see so many threads about women giving up the career to bring up kids and if they aren't married Mumsnetters go crazy!

Looking for some advice please

Financially, getting married would be a very wise decision. Think of these two scenarios:

a) Woman marries man. They have children. She gives up work to bring up the children. He progresses in his career. She goes back to work part time and can never reach the level she might have otherwise reached. He's been paying into a pension all this time. She hasn't got a pension. When the youngest child is 18, they divorce. She will get half of everything, including his pension.

b) Woman lives with man. They have children. She gives up work to bring up the children. He progresses in his career. She goes back to work part time and can never reach the level she might have otherwise reached. He's been paying into a pension all this time. She hasn't got a pension. When the youngest child is 18, they split up. He walks away with his pension and his good job. She gets nothing.

That's exactly the information I was looking for, thank you!

Do you know what would happen In terms of custody and child Maintenance if we was to split before they were 18. Does that change?

I don't think so. That's a separate thing altogether. However if you're the SAHM then it's unlikely he'd want 50:50, is it?

You’ve made yourself incredibly vulnerable by giving up work if you’re not married. If you split up you’d only be due half the equity in the house and the standard maintenance for the kids which isn’t much. Not a penny more - any savings in his name or his pension for example. You’d be expected to fully support yourself.

I’m not a marriage enthusiast as many are on this site but you’ve been foolish and would be entirely dependent on his generosity if you ever split.

You would also be worse off unmarried if your DP died.

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/family/living-together-marriage-and-civil-partnership/

This is pretty comprehensive - and trustworthy.

This is the intro to the page on that link:

Your legal rights as a partner may depend on whether you are married or living together. Living together with someone is sometimes also called cohabitation.

Generally speaking, you will have fewer rights if you're living together than if you're married.

This information explains the legal differences between being married and living together.

please also note that "name on mortgage" isn't indicative of how much equity you'd get in the house. What is the ownership position on the deeds? you can have the house as a joint tenant without being on the mortgage, or you can be tenants in common of a miserable little share and still be on the mortgage.

Checkout the thread above yours
“Can my sister be forced out of home?”

Thanks everyone. Some very useful information!