Flat Flop - Life has moved on

[Whymejustwhy]

My partner purchased a flat with a university friend before we got together, each owning 50% each, put 50% of deposit in etc. The arrangement was initially it was a three bedroom flat, my partner and the other co owner had a room each and they had a lodger in the third room. They paid in to cover the mortgage and bills, with some extra for rainy day funds.
About 2 years ago, my partner and I purchased our own house and my partner moved out the shared ownership flat.
When they initially purchased the flat, the agreement was that if any living arrangements changed the spare room would be rented out, as the flat was an investment and initial step on the property ladder. However when my partner moved out the co-owner would not let the spare room be rented out and instead upped the lodger and their payment, approximately £75 a month each extra. There was nothing going in for rainy day or making any kind of additional income which was the plan for the flat when it was initially purchased.
My partner always made clear to the co-owner, as did the co-owner to my partner, that this was not a forever and situations would change. Now nearly two years on, we have paid out money when the co-owner decided new tiles were needed. A tile colour was agreed and then the co-owner had a different colour put in, think agreed white and got dark green, along with several other instances like this. We had already parted with the money for the tradesman and only told by co-owner when work finished. After first time assured wouldn't again and then it did. Also we have had to part with money for routine maintenance. This has been put to the past but now my partner needs to sell the flat as to be honest the money is needed and it actually costs to have the flat.

This week my partner contacted the co owner to ask for a chat about the flat and plans going forwards, nothing was mentioned about selling or indeed anything just a chat. What was received back was a very hostile message, stating the co-owner would be living in the flat for at least another two years, they were not free for a chat, we have caused them grief, stress and has now blocked my partners number.

Any advice welcome on how to approach this situation, as we are at a loss of what to do. We are blaming ourselves for easy going before.

So i guess is my partner being unreasonable wanting to discuss with the co-owner about what to do with the flat going forward?

Wow. Sounds horrendous. Sorry, no practical advice but if be seeking legal advice asap if I was you. If relations have broken down so much that communication is blocked then this can only get worse.
It might be worth writing a letter outlining the original agreement and that their decisions have deviated from this forcing you to take decisions differently, but maybe it would be best kept official and legal from here on.

Was any of the original plan put in writing?

It sounds like you will need to go to court to get an order of sale. I would think you will succeed, however it is likely to be expensive and time consuming.

I would in the meantime tell the co-owner what you are intending and see if that will encourage them to come to the table to settle amicably.

Just to add, there is a legal forum which might be a better place to post than AIBU.

Hi Both,

Thank you for your replies, this is what i guess we are so confused about we saw the co owner at a wedding in February and have seen them around since, we live fairly close by so do just randomly see each other, had some zoom quizzes with the group of friends. They were chatty enough, the lodger is actually my partners friend from childhood and we see him regularly.
We are so confused how it has gone bad so quickly as we have been accommodating.
Also we are based in Scotland if that makes a difference.
We are sat here thinking how do we even tell them what we are wanting to talk about, do we literally pop round (Covid restrictions permitting) or send a letter?

Trying to figure out how to move this to legal.

A solicitor's letter reminding them of the initial agreement (which I assume was in writing?) might help things along, with the threat of escalating if things don't start moving.
I wouldn't have paid for those tiles. Leaky roof is one thing, but tiles are just a matter of preference.
I'd say the friendship has probably had it.

It is possible to apply for an order for sale to the court. It will cost around £1800 or thereabouts.

In your position I would do the following. Write letters, keep a copy incl a note in your diary of delivery, taking a dated photo is helpful. Do not email.

1. Write a letter and drop it through his mailbox. Friendly in tone laying out your position. Need to sell etc etc with a proposed timescale. I.e. put on market 1st Feb. Him vacating 1st April. Sale proceeding to completion around June/July. Division of costs and proceeds as previously agreed 50/50. Give him 28 days to respond.

1. No response, 2nd letter through letterbox 1st Jan. Have not heard from you. Am taking legal advice with a view to proceeding to court for an order of sale, advise you take legal advice. Please note we shall apply during the proceedings for costs to be awarded against you as we have made every attempt to reach an agreement re sale.

1. Seek advice and ask the solicitor to send a letter before action with a conciliatory tone of your intention to make an application to the court.

1. No response, instruct solicitor to proceed with court application.

Who's paying the mortgage?

@RedHelenB that is not relevant here, Op has already stated the agreement was ownership of 50/50. A court will not rewrite the terms already agreed.

Move back in. Be very loud, messy, and smelly, and anything else that comes to mind.

@nevertrustaherdofcows that’s what I was gonna say. Move back in!

Assuming that the co-owner can’t afford to buy your partner out, your partner’s desire to sell means that they will lose their home.

Your partner absolutely has the legal right to do this, and the co-owner should not be surprised at this turn of events, but this loss, in my view, explains their attitude.

Your partner will need to be assertive and follow the legal process but they should not expect their ex-friend to be happy about it.