Holiday contact court order

[Shinestar20]

Hi
Me and ex (with NPD) have a hearing to determine holiday contact. Regular contact increased and set at EOW only. Our DC is 7 and not had holidays before. Worried as he doesn’t empathise and history of abuse although CAFCASS not bothered apparently.

What court ordered contact have others had?
What arguments have been successful against a split?

Thanks in advance xx

You will get a huge variance between a week at Christmas, Easter and 2 in summer, to 5050 of the holidays to some other arrangement that usually fits the NRPs situation.

What has he put on the form? What have you put?

Neither of us have put anything yet as didn’t think we’d be at this stage yet

@Shinestar20

Neither of us have put anything yet as didn’t think we’d be at this stage yet

Then think about what you believe is reasonable. Probably in honesty under play that and then put this as your formal "offer".

Do.you have any preferences?

Do judges meet in middle? Or go with something standard / more in favour of NRP? Id like to know what kind of arguments they take into consideration. I guess NRP will go for half. As he is a narc he will go for as much as possible...

No, they don't meet in the middle nor do they go with something standard. It depends on the facts of the case. The primary consideration is the child's best interests.

If you can show that you have the capacity to cover in person the holidays but ex doesn't emphasise this.

Ime, if the ex has restrictions for contact say due to set holidays, offshore work or shifts etc, that courts try to accommodate these.

I'd also consider special occasions. And present a calendar of how these are to be split from now until lo is 18. Literally write the dates for each. That way if its ex's weekend, he doesn't automatically get lo for the special occasion. Including fathers and mothers day, religious celebrations etc. The more bases you cover the less chance he can manipulate for his benefit moving forward. For example, if Christmas fell on his weekend, it would be immaterial if there's other agreements in the order and normal contact is postponed at those times.

Thanks this is very useful. What about periods of time? As in if just one over night Before?

@Shinestar20

Thanks this is very useful. What about periods of time? As in if just one over night Before?

If that's the case, then whatever is being ordered, I would request that this is built up to. So if only 1 overnight for example, then perhaps initially has a long weekend with the intention of building up to full weeks. However the age of your child being 7 probably means that the build up will be less extensive and at best if say he goes for half of all holidays, then arguing that this means no usual contsct solely the days between last day of sch2and next attendance are halved,so half term equals 9 days, so he gets 4 days let's say, and you may be lucky to say Christmas holidays (if that soon) is 2 nights, 3 days and same for spring half term, unlikely though that this would be seen as appropriate for Easter holidays too which would mean 7 days. You obviously could argue that he has to split his days into two breaks, so he has say 3 nights at the start and 4 at the end of the holiday, with you having the middle element.

Half just seems like a lot for a non resident parent ...

@Shinestar20

Half just seems like a lot for a non resident parent ...

It's more common now than historically. Just because the other parent is the nrp, I suppose shouldn't mean they also miss out on quality holiday contact. Though many won't take half due to the cost impact of childcare if no free relatives or new partner to provide this.

Do you have a job that means you have school holidays off? What do you do for childcare?

I have flexibility that he won’t but he does have other relatives etc. How does the court view that? Does the court just give them what they ask for all things being equal on childcare front?

@Shinestar20

I have flexibility that he won’t but he does have other relatives etc. How does the court view that? Does the court just give them what they ask for all things being equal on childcare front?

Having relatives provide childcare isn't unreasonable per se as obviously the child should be able to have a relationship with them too, it's more that if they were having half of the holidays and was only actually with the child for a small percentage, then you could validly argue against it.

Argue against it not being in your child's interests.