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Reported him for coercive control. What next?

11 replies

Realitea · 29/10/2020 19:14

I reported my DH for coercive control a week ago. I spoke to the police and it was recommended. There was one further incident a couple of days later where the police came out but nothing happened once here, just a quick chat and I think they were a bit miffed that I called them.
They saw DC were fine and that I was too.
I now have a solicitor and I'm planning on moving with DC to a different town nearby.
But what happens next? Social services? A police investigation? I haven't heard from anyone but I'm quietly getting on with legal stuff like a C100. (child arrangement order)
I've read horror stories of children being taken away because the wife has reported their partners..I can't imagine anything worse. Me and my DC are absolutely fine. I don't want to go through something so awful as that.
I am quite sure that DH was having a mental health crisis and have spoken to his GP. We are usually completely normal, happy close little family so it's all quite a shock really.
Any reassurance?

OP posts:
BlueThistles · 29/10/2020 20:38

Did they press Charges OP? 🌺

BananaPop2020 · 29/10/2020 21:26

If he is charged it will go to Court, and then it depends on plea.

Realitea · 29/10/2020 21:37

I had no idea that was what reporting someone meant. I feel I’ve gone a bit overkill on this without asking any questions

He wasn’t charged with anything, neither of us has heard from the police since. How does it come to the decision to charge him? Do they now investigate?

OP posts:
Realitea · 29/10/2020 21:42

He hasn’t been arrested, l should add

OP posts:
AlwaysCheddar · 30/10/2020 12:01

If he’s not been arrested, nothing will happen,

BlueThistles · 30/10/2020 12:49

are you getting RL support OP ? are you ok 🌺

BlueThistles · 30/10/2020 12:51

You must report/log everything ... it creates a pattern of behaviour .. that can be used at a later date 🌺

Realitea · 30/10/2020 13:18

Yes lots of support, I’m fine. Thank you 🌷
I do have a diary of events because luckily I use Mumsnet like a diary so I just cut and paste with dates when I’ve posted about dh!
But reading it back, i don’t really think it’s abuse. I think I’ll send the diary to women’s aid and ask their opinion.

OP posts:
ChaChaCha2012 · 30/10/2020 13:31

I remember your last thread realitea, and your husband seemed controlled by his family. Has something else happened?

Realitea · 30/10/2020 14:37

Yes it’s over in relationships at the moment!
He is very controlled by them. Just before this latest problem, he was in tears which is rare. His sister is vile and bullies him. When I started to get angry about it he said there’s no point standing up to her because she will never apologise.
He sides with them though - he doesn’t see it or refuses to see it out of fear

OP posts:
Unknown1995 · 19/11/2020 18:55

Were the children present when the police came out, if they were by law they have to put in a report to social services.
Social services will then decide whether they have what’s called ‘safeguarding concerns’
You may hear from them you may not, but don’t worry if they do want to come out and have a chat with you are chances are it will just be one visit to check you’re all okay then you won’t hear from them again unless another incident happens.
Don’t worry honestly!
Take care xxx

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