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Original poster

Is this normal? (Will question)

26 replies

Letsgetgoing123 · 08/10/2020 13:13

Have no idea re legal matters, so this may be normal but wanted to check with anyone who deals with this.

Pil have made their will splitting everything equally between their children. (All adults)

In the event that one of their children dies before them, eg DH, his share will be spilt equally among our children.

They said it was to protect against me remarrying in that instance.

Presuming this is normal, but it did feel a bit strange, especially as my DM had given us some money when buying our house which obviously would be shared in the event of having to sell. (Eg If DH hypothetically did a runner!)

OP posts:
user1487194234 · 08/10/2020 13:22

Absolutely bog standard

heyheyheyheyhey · 08/10/2020 13:26

Yep that how my Mum's, and my PIL's wills have been set up, and we've been married 25 years!

RunningFromInsanity · 08/10/2020 13:29

Yes.
If your DH dies, you remarry and then either divorce/die, a complete stranger (to them) will get their money.

ToffeeAppleCaramel · 08/10/2020 13:34

It’s pretty normal yes. Obviously people can draft wills to leave assets however they wish but I think it would be quite unusual to leave to a son or daughter in law where their own child had died and there were grandchildren to inherit instead.

Your example isn’t really the equivalent, though I can see why you have mentioned it. If your in-laws die before your husband, they are leaving money to him which you can also access. This is the same as your mum did, though she did it whilst alive. A better parallel would be if you had died before you bought the house, would she have helped your husband to buy it alone? I would suggest probably not and therefore not so different from your in laws.

theemmadilemma · 08/10/2020 13:36

Standard and completely correct imo.

MummytoCSJH · 08/10/2020 13:37

Sounds normal but it was rude of them to say it was to prevent you remarrying! That's not their business but surely it's not really an incentive anyway as you will get nothing whether you do or not? Confused

AskMeOnce · 08/10/2020 13:45

Yes this is very standard. To prevent any potential new spouse of yours using up all their money and their DGC getting none of it.

I do find it strange that they have said it's to prevent you remarrying at all though, that seems a bit unfair.

Holyrivolli · 08/10/2020 13:46

Agree with others. Totally expected. Turning the question around - why do you think they should leave you money when they die?

Amummyatlast · 08/10/2020 13:55

@MummytoCSJH

Sounds normal but it was rude of them to say it was to prevent you remarrying! That's not their business but surely it's not really an incentive anyway as you will get nothing whether you do or not? Confused
I suspect there’s some miscommunication, and they actually said it’s protection in case she remarries, which is completely normal.
DilysPrice · 08/10/2020 14:06

The OP didn’t say it was to prevent her remarrying, that was a wording made up by other posters - her words were “to protect against me remarrying”.

Yes perfectly normal and also what would have happened if they hadn’t made a will.

DilysPrice · 08/10/2020 14:09

Eg
“I keep scans of essential personal documents online to protect against my house burning down”

Not the same as
“I keep scans of essential documents online to prevent my house burning down”

HollowTalk · 08/10/2020 14:13

@Letsgetgoing123

Have no idea re legal matters, so this may be normal but wanted to check with anyone who deals with this.

Pil have made their will splitting everything equally between their children. (All adults)

In the event that one of their children dies before them, eg DH, his share will be spilt equally among our children.

They said it was to protect against me remarrying in that instance.

Presuming this is normal, but it did feel a bit strange, especially as my DM had given us some money when buying our house which obviously would be shared in the event of having to sell. (Eg If DH hypothetically did a runner!)

Think it through. If your husband died and you inherited instead and you then remarried someone and didn't write a will then your new husband would automatically inherit everything (up to a certain point of course, and then he would share the remainder with your children.)
TiddyTid · 08/10/2020 14:18

Bloodline planning. Recommended.

mrsm43s · 08/10/2020 14:30

Absolutely normal. The other common option sometimes used is that if one child has predeceased them that that portion is split back up amongst the other children i.e. your DH's siblings, but of course that cuts out the grandchildren.

Hopefully you don't think you are somehow entitled to inherit from your PIL over and above their blood relatives?

Original poster
Letsgetgoing123 · 08/10/2020 14:41

Thanks all!

It felt right, then I panicked and envisaged a scenario where Dh had popped his clogs and I was homeless and destitute while my kids were off partying and travelling all over the world!

OP posts:
ComtesseDeSpair · 08/10/2020 15:16

Why would you be destitute and homeless? Surely you and DH have your own wills (and hopefully life insurance?) which mean you’d inherit his share of your joint home, assets and savings?

ComtesseDeSpair · 08/10/2020 15:16

If you don’t have either, you need to sort both!

MummytoCSJH · 08/10/2020 19:25

I used the wrong word but in my eyes this means the same thing. PILs didn't say this would be in place if she remarried, but that it's happening anyway. So what difference would it make?

GU24Mum · 08/10/2020 19:29

Don't they actually mean that it's to stop your children dipping out if your OH has died young?

Say he has three siblings so your PILs are splitting their estate four ways so each sibling gets 25%. If they don't write in that your children inherit if he has predeceased his parents (or the relevant one at the time) then PIL's estate is split 3 ways - the siblings get 33.3% each and your family gets nothing.

titchy · 08/10/2020 19:33

@Letsgetgoing123

Thanks all!

It felt right, then I panicked and envisaged a scenario where Dh had popped his clogs and I was homeless and destitute while my kids were off partying and travelling all over the world!

Why would you be homeless and destitute? Are you financially dependent on your PILs? If they sold their house and spent every last penny they owned on cruises and fine wine would you be homeless and destitute? Confused
Original poster
Letsgetgoing123 · 08/10/2020 19:44

@ComtesseDeSpair

If you don’t have either, you need to sort both!
Have life insurance but no wills!
OP posts:
Original poster
Letsgetgoing123 · 08/10/2020 19:45

@GU24Mum

Don't they actually mean that it's to stop your children dipping out if your OH has died young?

Say he has three siblings so your PILs are splitting their estate four ways so each sibling gets 25%. If they don't write in that your children inherit if he has predeceased his parents (or the relevant one at the time) then PIL's estate is split 3 ways - the siblings get 33.3% each and your family gets nothing.

Yes that makes sense!
OP posts:
Original poster
Letsgetgoing123 · 08/10/2020 19:49

@titchy

“Why would you be homeless and destitute? Are you financially dependent on your PILs? If they sold their house and spent every last penny they owned on cruises and fine wine would you be homeless and destitute? confused”

I wouldn’t, that was a joke. No we’re not at all dependent on them 🤣 and I would encourage them and my dm to spend as much as they like and enjoy it! I’m just not used to talking/thinking about this stuff. I am more (not totally) dependent on dh as went part time after having dcs so would never cover mortgage/bills/expenses of our house on my meagre wage!

OP posts:
Florencex · 09/10/2020 08:05

@MummytoCSJH

Sounds normal but it was rude of them to say it was to prevent you remarrying! That's not their business but surely it's not really an incentive anyway as you will get nothing whether you do or not? Confused
@mummytoCSJH

They didn’t say it was to prevent her remarrying, they said it was to protect (i.e. the husband / their child’s inheritance) in case she remarried.

OP yes it is bog standard, it is also what would happen if they died without a will and intestacy occurred.

Sophiesdog2020 · 09/10/2020 22:28

The re marrying comment is a total red herring, it sounds like the PIL have misunderstood why the children clause has been added.

Op wouldn’t inherit her DH share in his place unless she was specifically mentioned in the will. Without the children clause, his share would be split amongst the remaining beneficiaries (ie his siblings, as GU24Mum pointed out) - by adding “the children get his share” clause, it means his children don’t lose out if he pre deceases his parents.

It is standard, was in my parents wills and is in ours and I guess in PILs too.

Op, did your PIL specifically mention it was in case you re-married? If so, it seems they may have the wrong end of stick, you wouldn’t be entitled to anything unless they actually name you!