Parental responsibility?

[WhoUsedMyName]

This post maybe long I apologies in advance.
Two ds 10 & 8 have not seen birth father in around 4 years he is an alcoholic around 7 years ago ss were involved because of dv and his drinking. I tried to keep ongoing supervised access up until 4 years ago as he just kept letting them down. Fast forward I have been with dh 6.5 years married for 2.5 years and one dd. My concern is if something was to happen to me would both ds go to birth father as he is on birth certificate?
I would like them to stay with dh & dd in there home so had planned to apply for step parental responsibility I have contacted birth father he said no way would he sign that if something happened to me he is having them (like they are his possessions). He does not pay maintenance or have any contact at all. Please can any one help me

CMS. Straight away. If he's not happy to allow someone else to (legally) have any place in the dc lives, then he at the very least needs to start contributing financially.

Dickhead

Why doesn’t he pay maintenance?? Does he have a job? I’d use that against him. Tell him unless he signs it you’ll be chasing him for maintenance and you’ll backdate it as far as you can

He's never worked a day in his life he changed his name somewhere along the line and I don't have an address for him that was the problem when I tried to claim years ago they couldn't find him. All very dodgy

Have a read through this blog.

www.evolvefamilylaw.co.uk/can-a-father-lose-parental-responsibility-for-his-child/

It doesn't really happen just for absence.

In the scenario you mention you would need to nominate a legal guardian and the court would decide whether to honour that. Usually where a father has been absent for several years, they would allow the ch listen to remain with the mothers nominated legal guardian based on that being in the best interests of the child.

You should speak to a family law solicitor for detailed advice for your situation.

Thank you I have spoke with a solicitor but fees just seem to keep racking up which is understandable just such a shame

Thank you for replies I'm going to have to go through courts etc and just grin & bear the bill aren't I

You would like to think that two children grieving for their mother wouldn't be sent to live with someone they haven't seen in 4years.

Why do you need to go to court over this? He won't get PR removed and you can add your wishes and reasons for your dp to be guardian in your will. Job done.

No, you don't have to go through the courts unless you really want your husband to have PR.

If something does happen to you, your ex cannot simply turn up and demand the children are handed over regardless of whether your husband has PR. Your ex would have to go to the courts if he wanted to take your children away. The primary concern of the courts would be your children's best interests. Given that they have a stable home and no contact with their father, there is no way he would get an order that they live with him.

That does make sense and I will do a will, I've had a few scares recently I think it's just made me think abit to much into it. If I was gone I can't fight kinda thing sad but things happen don't they

@prh47bridge

No, you don't have to go through the courts unless you really want your husband to have PR.

If something does happen to you, your ex cannot simply turn up and demand the children are handed over regardless of whether your husband has PR. Your ex would have to go to the courts if he wanted to take your children away. The primary concern of the courts would be your children's best interests. Given that they have a stable home and no contact with their father, there is no way he would get an order that they live with him.

This is completely wrong, and I unfortunately know from personal experience. There is every chance they’ll be given to a parent they’ve never met who has parental rights, rather than a step parent they’ve grown up with. You need to fight this op

No, it is not wrong. I obviously don't know the details of your personal experience but there have to be very strong reasons to remove children from a settled home. Someone else having PR is nowhere near enough. Where there is no contact at all with the absent parent, as in this case, it simply isn't going to happen.

It may happen if the step parent repeatedly fails to comply with a child arrangements order regarding contact, particularly if there is evidence they are attempting to alienate the children from the absent parent. It may happen if the children express a strong with to live with the absent parent. It may happen if there is evidence that the step parent is a danger to the children. I'm sure there may be other situations.

Absent special circumstances, in the unlikely event that the court did make an order that the children should move from their normal home and live with a parent that they haven't had any contact with for years, an appeal to overturn the order should be straightforward.