Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Legal matters

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have any legal concerns we suggest you consult a solicitor.

Child access and abuse

10 replies

Muppetmummy2010 · 23/09/2020 12:07

I'm posting because I desperately need somewhere to vent and maybe advice. I lived with a covert narc for 10 years had 4 beautiful children. Put up with a lot from him and his family lots of mental abuse he tried physically on occasion but I'm very strong willed and soon let him know I wouldn't be afraid to fight back. I left him in 2018 after yet another allegation that I had slept with his uncle! I got accused of sleeping with his family members a lot. Since I left its been 2 years of hell, he's stalked me spread rumors around town has the neighbours spying on me, phones the police children's school and social services with lies. Social have come out to do assessments on me several times. He filled our children with lies to the point my 9 year old son hated me. He has staff in my local shop monitoring what I buy and reporting back to him. In these two years I met what I thought was my Knight in shining armour. He's family loved me and treated me like their own, they saw the abuse and supported me to get a non mol order. He has eupd and I tried my best to learn about it and support him. Once our son was born it seems to be a downward spiral he started drinking everyday, took cocaine stole money from me and the children. Our baby is 9 months old and he badgered me to go out for my sisters birthday recently and that he would look after the baby. My gut feeling was screaming at me so I came home early and didn't let him know to find him taking cocaine in my bathroom, arguments also started when I found him talking to other women online, sending pics of our son and telling them I wouldn't let him see his son! We've had a row, I threw him out he's forced his way into my house with his brother and assaulted me breaking my finger and pushing me over.. I was clearing up the broken glass when the police knocked on the door and said they were arresting me for assault! They threw me in the van and his family were waiting on the corner to go in my house. I've spent the night in the cells and been bailed till the end of the month. I come home he's emptied my house of everything and taken the baby, given my older children over to their dad and neither will let me see or speak to the children. I've made an emergency application to the court but it's taking forever, his family are now claiming I'm not mentally fit to have the baby. Their son hasn't even so much as changed his nappy in 9 months. I went to get the baby back because its the grandparents looking after him not the father and the police where involved because she wouldn't let go of his carseat. They had a look around her and my house and decided the baby would go back to her because my house was all smashed up and my older children's bedroom was messy! Her children are all grown up so the house is immaculate. Mine has had 5 people in lock down with a new baby it wasn't filthy just laundry needed putting away and a hoover. The older twos dad first claimed ss told him I'm not allowed near the children and when I phoned her she said we've never said that now he's claiming my sons senco at school have said that and when I phoned them they didn't even know anything had gone on! He's sent me a threatening solicitors letter with these claims but I have the recordings of the phone calls I made to the social and school saying otherwise. I feel like I'm living in crazy land right now. Both exes hated each other and now they are best friends organising meet ups with the children, I'm so hurt they could do this to me

OP posts:
LovingLola · 23/09/2020 12:10

Sounds horrific.

blackcat86 · 23/09/2020 12:13

What a mess. You need to be sorting your home out and speaking to your health visitor and a solicitor as a priority. Have you contacted womens aid for advice? Log everything and have witnesses where you can

Muppetmummy2010 · 23/09/2020 12:52

The house is now sorted thankfully I asked the social worker to come out and have a look around so it's on record. I was just in such a flurry to get the children home safe that it wasn't priority. I have a solicitor but with all this covid stuff it seems to be taking an age and apparently my case isn't urgent enough, it's been nearly 3 weeks since I have seen any of my children and this is the longest I've been away from them I'm honestly heartbroken

OP posts:
blackcat86 · 23/09/2020 16:06

Thats awful. To be honest I would consider going to my local MP at that stage. Have social services done a welfare check to at least check on the children. They must miss you terribly to.

RedHelenB · 23/09/2020 16:29

How are the children?

Muppetmummy2010 · 23/09/2020 17:03

Social services have opened a case and the lady has told me the children are safe and well. The police also went to do a welfare check and said the baby's father seemed competent and not on drugs I said to the officer well he'll behave for a few weeks and when the authorities have closed the cases he'll go straight back on it. Social just say I need legal advice they have no rights to remove the children because the fathers also have pr. Honestly cant believe this is happening and that the authorities are allowing a 9 month old baby to stay with a drug and alcohol abuser and my 6 and 9 year old with a mental abuser. I hate myself for getting into relationships with these people and bringing innocent children into it all

OP posts:
MangoMarmalade · 27/09/2020 16:30

@Muppetmummy2010 this is horrendous!

Muppetmummy2010 · 01/10/2020 21:16

Just a quick update I have a court hearing Monday, still not seen the babies, and the monster in law is going around the village we live in telling people that I really think I've got a chance

OP posts:
Hohofortherobbers · 05/10/2020 16:09

How did the hearing go?

bounce89 · 12/10/2020 09:05

I have also had this happen to me and my ds, if these are the only issues then the judge should allow you to have contact maybe 50/50 whilst they investigate all claims and you'll probably have to attend a few hearings to sort out who they live with and how much visitation the other parent gets. If you have had visits before from SS for false allegations then they will look back on your records and see that things have always been stable in the past and that you are capable of caring for the children emotionally and physically. It really is a terrifying situation to be in but be strong! You can do this.
I'm nearing the end of this now, as long as you're honest then whatever the situation social services and the judge will want to work with you, not against you.

Good luck and let us know how you're getting on.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread