Child Arrangement Order

[Helpmexx]

I had a my daughter 12weeks ago, I want to know how easy it is to get a Child Arrangements Orders, I want my daughter to live with me. He doesn’t support her, I’ve looked after her since she was born, he refused to come see her so now I have to let her go to his house 6hrs a week on a Monday aagast what I want, with a few bottles of expressed milk.

He said he wants her 2weeks then me two weeks which I refused. He works for him self so it’s possible for him, but for me how am I to find a job that gives me every 2 weeks off it’s not doable, plus I’d rather be home looking after my baby girl.. am I the only one that thinks it’s crazy ???!!

He is more than welcome to come see her whenever he wants but chooses not to. He left me when I was 4months pregnant he made this choice not to be a family. I refuse to lose her.

Also he told me to stop breastfeeding as he said I was using it so he can’t see her. I’m breastfeeding he because it’s what’s best for her.

Can I get a Child Arrangements Orders and be her primary carer as I am already? Or will he be able to get one?

I don’t want to do 50:50 I don’t think it’s good, I think a child needs a permanent home and Stability.. am I wrong?

Apply for mediation first so you can get your C100 form for court when he comes out with his silly plans in front of the mediator.
No court will order a baby this young, more so a BF baby, for two weeks at a time. Even 'older' children don't do two weeks each so his idea can do one.

In your mediation session, if he attends, know what you want. Something like a few hours a week normal around feeding/nap times with increasing to more hours, not overnight then moving to overnights EOW/1 mid week when baby is 3-5. Obviously overnights can be whatever age you feel is ready by most is between these ages as the child can understand some of what's happening. If he doesn't attend you'll be given your C100 form for court right away and have 4 months to apply to the court for the order

The courts are your best bet though as I said but you need to know what you're comfortable with now and a long term plan.

Also we have DSD 50/50 and it works fantastically for her because she can attend her groups her mum refused to take her as they are now on our 'days' but there's also clear boundaries between both parents. It can work for some just as much as it doesn't suit everyone's family dynamics. From a child perspective, DSD loves it as she sees both houses as home and knows where she is, what she's doing when with us and has a great routine to the point she's thriving.

Hello - I would be highly unusual for a baby to spend 2 weeks away from the mother. Take a look at this guide to child arrangements orders as it may help answer your question. You will usually need to go to mediation first, which may be a good idea for your situation anyway. Any agreement reached in mediation can be made into a child arrangements order by consent. Wishing you all the best, Amber
www.mediateuk.co.uk/the-ultimate-guide-to-child-arrangements/

You don’t have to let him take her at all with expressed milk. If you haven’t already then don’t let her go. Once you’ve allowed contact it’s very difficult to take it back.

Tell him he can come and see her at your house at x times and dates. If he doesn’t show that’s his choice

Is he on the birth certificate?

At this stage he sees the baby at whatever frequency you can agree. For one so young it would be little and often - perhaps an hour at a time.

He is being completely unrealistic. You don't need to apply for an order. Let him do the running.