Help! advise needed for financial order in court alone

[anonij]

Hi,

I'm about to go to court for a financial order after mediation failed.
I desperatly need help and advise on what to expect in the court hearing, what i shold prepare and say? i have only had limited advise from a free solicitor through the CAB.

Background story

I experienced domestic abuse(everything but physical violence - very long story) - it is not registered as this through the court as i dont really have a clue what im doing to be honest

and have an 11 year old son.

My ex husband (the divorce has already gone through) has done everything to delay the process. We had no assets, except his pention. we were together 15 years - he earns £45000 i raised our son and did little jobs - i am now on full benefits! soley trying to raise our son and educate him through lockdown

I had a child arrangements order put in place while myself and son were homeless, i was so desperate for help, still under my exes control and emotionally struggling, i agreed to my son seeing his dad about 1/3 of the time. over the past few months as we have been housed and things have stabilsed - its strikingly clear my ex does nothing for our son and it has been quite detrimental for him so much so i have had to reduce the time he sees his dad - and his dad has agreed to this.
i wont write anymore, but there is such an unfairness to this situation - any advise would be so helpful.

thanks

Stick to the advice given by the solicitor at the CAB. I’m sure you told them much more than you have posted here.

What were you asking for in mediation?

Did your solicitor suggest what a good settlement outhone would be? Are you asking for spousal maintenence, a pension sharing order?

How much is his pension worth? Do you have the CETV from when you split up?

What are your plans in terms of working?

Presumably the CAB solicitor assessed you for legal aid? If you are on benefits and have evidence of the domestic abuse then this is an option. The evidence doesn't need to be from court, but eg GP, support worker.

Otherwise have a look for other sources of support eg the Personal Support Unit at the court you are going to, Rights of Women phone line, www.supportthroughcourt.org, local law clinic maybe.

Good luck, but do persevere.

Thanks for your replies

At the time of mediation myself and my son had, had to leave our home - my ex was controlling witholding money for food etc

and were sofa surfing, we then ended up in one room sharing a bed in a shared house in awful conditions so we could be near my sons school, was alll very upsetting and dificult, we had hardly any money as benefits were just starting to help us.

• at the time of mediation (last October) i was asking for any help as he only pays £400 per month. But he is a compulsive liar, had already refused to leave the 3 bed rented property we were in.

i dont know what a fair settlement would be, i dont have a career always took a back seat career wise to raise my son, i now have my son nearly all the time and feel such a huge burden, i feel traumatised by the experience and trying to rebuild our lives as a single mum, but worried about money.

I am about to restart a self employed business after it collasping during the lockdown once my son goes back to school.

basically i need to know what i should be saying and preparing for the court hearing.
whats reasonable when i take sole responibility for my son even though the child arrangements order states he goes to his dads more, it just hasnt worked.

ive only had limited advise from the free solicitor, he previously said i should be receiving over £1000 per month because of our situation, but now we are housed maybe around £800. my ex is currently hiding his pension - the only asset - and says he wants to pay less than the £400! we were together 15 years.
i really just want to close this book and move forward but financially we need to survive moving forward in this situation.

£1k based on what? Seems high on a salary of £45k Which will give monthly take home around £2.5k

If you have a look on child maintenance calculator this will give you an idea of how much you will be entitled to in terms of that.

On a salary of 45k I’d imagine with no overnight contact that the figure would be around the 350 mark per month l. Maybe slightly more.
Given his salary I wouldn’t anticipate spousal maintenance would be awarded.
The thing you need to sort is the pension. You need the cash equivalent transfer value at the point at which you split up, this will then give you an idea of how much you would be entitled too.

Court is a costly business- what was offered at mediation from him?

Just saw he was paying around £400, in all honesty that it what I’d anticipate him to pay per month based on his salary.