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Original poster

baby dad not letting me see son

14 replies

Swilmot · 04/09/2020 21:40

Hi! just looking for some advice, im only 20 and i broke up with my baby's dad last year April, it was a toxic relationship and i didn't want my son brought up around it, it now going through courts as he wont allow me to see my son and i haven't seen him for about 9 months, as of corona its been a longer process than normal. hes very controlling and is refusing everything! He twisted everything in court to make me look bad when all i want is my son! im looking at getting a solicitor but i need one under legal aid, if anyone has any advice please let me know!

OP posts:
LovingLola · 04/09/2020 21:42

How old is your son? Is your ex on the birth certificate?

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 04/09/2020 21:46

Why does your ex have custody in the first place?

What stage are you at with the court process at the moment?

I strongly suggest that you keep a record of when you have asked to see your child (with screenshots of possible).

Have you asked for mediation?

Parmavioletmum · 07/09/2020 13:21

Is he on the birth certificate? How did he end up with custody? Are there any legal orders in place already about visitation etc?

I think the above will play a huge part in the responses you get.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/09/2020 13:22

Did you walk away and leave your son with his father?

combatbarbie · 07/09/2020 13:34

Firstly we need more information. Why is baby with dad, presumably dad is on BC?

Collaborate · 07/09/2020 14:40

Why is it relevant why the child is with the father? A child has to be with one parent or the other. Don't make it in to criticism of the mother (OP) that it's not her.

OP - you could only get legal aid if you qualify on financial grounds and there was domestic violence in the relationship.

You can apply to the court for a child arrangements order. Try mediation first though. The courts will only order no contact in exceptional circumstances.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 07/09/2020 14:44

Why is it relevant why the child is with the father?

OP may have been abusive. The child may have been placed with their father by SS because they saw op as unfit, or any number if other very relevant reasons. Nobody is being judgemental.

Thisismytimetoshine · 07/09/2020 14:48

How could it not be relevant? Hmm

MidnightCitrus · 07/09/2020 14:52

Does he have full custody? Was that done through the courts?

ivfbeenbusy · 07/09/2020 15:01

Why is it relevant why the child is with the father? A child has to be with one parent or the other. Don't make it in to criticism of the mother (OP) that it's not her.

It's incredibly rare for a young baby to be placed in the sole custody of its father - there must have been some serious concerns to warrant this. Without knowing some more details we can hardly give advice as to whether she might have a case to gain custody/contact back from the father??

Parmavioletmum · 07/09/2020 15:58

Of course it is relevant. It's highly unusual for a child to be in a fathers sole custody. If ss have been involved or for whatever reasons there have been safety concerns with the mother then that would mean the advice would be different.

WhatWouldYouDoWhatWouldJesusDo · 07/09/2020 16:04

Things have been delayed massively because of covid.

One of my dds friends had her children removed and placed with relatives because of an incident (( PND related)) her youngest was a couple of months when they were removed back in March. She saw them for the first time 2 weeks ago and had to wear full PPE. It all seems unnecessarily cruel to me but that's how it is right now. At some point her dc will be coming home and her baby will only know her as a woman behind a screen.

So if the child has been placed with his dad there could be some covid related issues coming into play

Original poster
Swilmot · 07/09/2020 17:25

Hi! so i tried mediation but father refused. thats why now its with courts, im eligible for legal aid as thats whati did through mediation, father is on Bc yes, i didnt walk away from them, i ended the relationship as he was abusive and didnt want my son brought up around it. we had a good mutual agreement after a few arguments and we saw his one week on one week off, my mental health had a wobble as i had PND. i asked his father if he could look after him for a little longer as i didnt want my some to react off my stress. he agreed and understood, i asked to see him and he refused. thats where it started. I've had my first court hearing and they wanted a mental health letter. the judge tried to get me supervised visits but he refused. he hasnt been put in his custody through an order.

OP posts:
Original poster
Swilmot · 07/09/2020 17:27

sorry, also he is 2 on the 16th this month.

OP posts:
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