Am I stuck owning a home with him

[Smellbellina]

If anyone has an insight I would be so grateful!
Ex and I bought a house together as tenants in common over a decade ago, I have not been able to live in it much due to DV, he wouldn’t leave so I rented (at more expense!) a house for me and DC whilst he rented out their bedrooms and pocketed the money.
We (stupidly) reconciled but he was violent again so I left with DC, police bailed him to the address so yet again I can’t live there.
I am desperate to not own a property with him. I doubt he will buy me out as he feels it’s his house. And I don’t know if I even have a claim as he has prevented me living there for a large proportion of the time.
Do I need to just sign it over? Can I even do that? DV Assist were going to apply for an occupation order but that was a while ago and I don’t even know they would find in my favour. And I don’t think I want it, I just want to not own a house with him! Is there anything I can do?

Not a lawyer but I would think it doesn't matter if he wants to buy you out, you own part of the house and you can take him to court to order him to either buy you out or sell to release funds to you.
I don't know if he is allowed to keep money from lodgers but he should probably be paying you some monthly rent on your part of the house if you aren't living there. I don't know how you would enforce this but presumably through the court.

You could see how much a lawyer estimates the cost to force a sale/buyout then decide if the equity is worth fighting for. it seems a shame to just sign it over to him especially as you are housing his kids but probably can be done.

If you're prepared to forgo any equity I'm sure he'd leap at the chance of you signing your share to him. Is there still a mortgage on the property and if so could he take it over?

Can you afford a solicitor? If not, Citizens' Advice should be able to help. He might feel it's his house but if you've put money into it you should be getting money out of it.

He could very easily take over the mortgage, he could easily remortgage to buy me out the only sticking point is that he won’t want to as it’s ‘his’.

I have been trying to get through to R4W for weeks but it’s impossible. I spoke to one solicitor who basically said ‘yea it’s his but we could ask him for £5000’ (I suspect it would cost that much in fees) and she would email me stuff through but never did. I spoke to another solicitor who said ‘your on the title deeds with a 50% share and the mortgage so no it’s not his’ and I have a (expensive!) meeting next week.

I’d rather he bought me out than pursue an occupation order as he has indicated he will keep the bedrooms for the children this time and I think that is best for them. I would be happy with a much reduced share of the equity but I do feel I should get something, he just seems to get away with being a bully and it all works in his favour. I feel stuck!

The second solicitor is right. He may be able to establish a claim to a higher share but the starting point for a property owned as tenants in common is that each owns 50% of the equity unless there is a deed of trust that sets out a different split.