Sleepovers away from home.

[Themadcatparade]

Advice needed.

If a child is on his fathers time via court over, is the father doing wrong to stay overnight away from the family home With the child without consulting the separated mother? Whether this be a hotel stay or a stay at grandparents?

Court order only states to give notice for holidays and on agreement with other parent. It does not state anything about a single overnight stay.

We have just received a solicitors letter threatening a possible breach of court order For ‘short holidays’ when they have been simply the occasional overnight stay. Child also stays overnight away from mothers home on mother’s time too.

Thanks!

overnight on mother’s time, without consulting the father that should say

Why out of courtesy would you not have mentioned the child staying elsewhere.

I would have thought that you wouldn't need to give notice or inform, that when you are parenting your child, these decisions/plans are up to you. But with a court order in place i would advise getting legal clarification on this just to make sure everything is above board.

I would view a night away from home in a hotel/with family as a holiday, so yes notice should be given.

The communication between mother and father is not great in this instance, more on mother side to refuse to communicate about child. It what’s always been the case - Father has never been given any knowledge of where and what child is up to unless it’s been a medical emergency.

Unfortunately, mother would never ‘allow’ child to stay anywhere else anyway if Given the right to decide. All attempt at taking child on holiday have been refused so far.

No, they can stay wherever they want without notice if it’s in the same country.

Can you not add something to the court order to get it agreed that you can take your child on holiday? I dont see why a spur of the moment overnight stay would need to be agreed in advance. Why should they be able to dictate what you do when it is your time with your child?

I would have thought so too @FelicityPike.

I don’t see the difference in staying somewhere other than the home for a night and staying at grandparents for the night. No stay in any other place has been more than 18 hours in each case.

@dementedpixie

With being at risk of sounding harsh or bitter - everything is dictated by mother, down to what kind of toothbrush child is allowed. It’s been a very difficult time for everyone lately.

Are clarifications and add ons to the court order made through applications to the court? This would help loads

Surely things like what toothbrush etc can be demanded but no wasy of enforcing? What if you just dont do it? (Obviously have a different toothbrush rather than none!)

With a court order for contact in place theres no way your ex would be able to withhold access on these grounds.

I think you need to push back with all this. I imagine the law is on your side more than you realise.

No, when the child is with a parent in the time ordered by the child arrangements order, he is free to parent his child in a way he sees fit without interference from the other parent. He does not need to seek permission for normal activities in this time. So, for example, if he were to take the child to visit his parents for the weekend. As long as his behaviour is not harmful to the welfare of the child. (That applies equally to the mother) . The mother does not need to consult on day to day activities whilst the child is in her care. Medical intervention, choice of schools , religious upbringing are the exceptions, which should be agreed with those who hold Parental responsibility

Unless there is something specific of this nature written on the order. (Which would be pretty unusual).

The point being that both parents get to parent the child/ren on their own terms.

A solicitors letter is not the court. They can take 'instructions' from their client and make representations to you in a letter , to stand on your head , if that's what's she's asking.! You do not have to do it until the court finds it a reasonable request and amends the order.