To set the scene DH has 2 very grown up children, one of them we see and the other we don't. There is no reason or fall out, they have just dropped contact gradually, appear sporadically and been unhappy when DH wouldn't drop everything to go out and meet them. We don't have any money but we own our own house. In the future I will probably inherit between £50k & 70k and I want to know how best I can protect this money so it goes to my children if anything happened to me.
I'm in Scotland where you can't disinherit your children or your spouse so it's not a matter of simple will making. I don't want to leave him with nothing but I do have huge concerns that money from my inheritance may eventually go to his older D.C., which neither of us want. So he either gradually gives it to my D.C. when they are young (all but one would be adults though) or he simply spends it all, neither option give him a good financial situation though. Obviously I want him to have as much as he can, while protecting the money for our children.
Please don't think I'm being a cunty step parent, I'm really not. They are adults in their 40's who have never lived or stayed with us as part of the family unit (they were both married by the time DH and I got together) and while I get on fine with them, my money is for my children.
DH and I have been married for 20 years and have 4 D.C.