How do I protect this deposit if we divorce?

[haveashandy]

We're planning on buying a house and I am providing most of the deposit which is quite a substantial sum
How do I protect this if we ever split?
Is it something the solicitor dealing with the move can draw up or will I need something separate from a specialist solicitor?

As you are married your only real option is a post-nuptial agreement. You will both need independent legal advice and there will have to be a full financial disclosure. Even then, the courts can ignore a post-nuptial agreement if it is unfair in the circumstances at the time of divorce.

Without a post-nuptial agreement the courts will take your contribution to the deposit into account but there is no guarantee you will get it all back.

It depends if you are married or not?

It depends if you are married or not?

The OP asks how to protect the deposit if she divorces. I therefore presume she is married.

@prh47bridge l didn’t notice that in the title and it’s not mentioned in the main text

I also agree with @prh47bridge. Post-nuptials aren’t legally binding in the UK. When l got divorced l gave my ex husband the deposit back for house that he had paid and then split other assets. I didn’t have to and some people thought l shouldn’t

Well let's hope we either don't get divorced or that we can be civil about it if we do

[quote WhatKatyDidNxt]**@prh47bridge l didn’t notice that in the title and it’s not mentioned in the main text

I also agree with @prh47bridge. Post-nuptials aren’t legally binding in the UK. When l got divorced l gave my ex husband the deposit back for house that he had paid and then split other assets. I didn’t have to and some people thought l shouldn’t[/quote]
If done properly they are as close to binding as you can get.

Maybe a deed of trust? I would check with the solicitors about how effective it would be on divorce

You need to ask a lawyer ASAP.
I won’t be getting married until prenups are legal in this country as I’m not wanting to lose half of my assets in the event of a divorce!

I’m all for being savvy and looking after your financial independence, but I can’t help wondering why you got married if you weren’t prepared to throw everything into one pot. To me, ring fencing things as ‘mine’ and ‘his’ defeats the entire point of getting married. Fair enough to feel like that but why on earth enter into a legally binding agreement to share all that you have and then ask for advice on how to not have to do that

Im another who doesnt undestand separate finannces in a marriage.

Because when we got married I never in a million years expected to find myself suddenly £150000 richer
I'm trying to be sensible
Things can get really nasty in divorces as I'm sure you're aware and if I need to make a new life for myself and my children then that money will be extremely beneficial

If that sort of money came to me, I'd see it as money for us to make use of as a family.

Put some into trust for your dc.

Do you have dc? Would you be expected to still cover your side of the bills if you were on mat leave?

I won’t be getting married until prenups are legal in this country as I’m not wanting to lose half of my assets in the event of a divorce

Prenups are legal. They aren't binding on the courts but, provided both parties have had independent legal advice and there has been full financial disclosure, the courts will only interfere if the prenup is clearly unfair or prejudices any children.

You could own the house in unequal shares (though that also means one person can will their share to someone other than the co-owner)

It isn’t completely ‘divorce proof’ but it is a very clear ststrment of how ownership was seen at time of buying, and do should be taken into account

If that sort of money came to me, I'd see it as money for us to make use of as a family.

This. Surely you get married not knowing what the future will bring but agreeing to share everything ‘for better or for worse’. How would you feel if your husband had come into this money-equally as quick to ring fence it as ‘his’...?

If I discovered my husband had your attitude towards me and our family he’d fairly swiftly find himself alone with plenty of time to count his lovely big pile of cash. Sorry but it sounds to me like your marriage is dead in the water as it is, you don’t have the mindset of a spouse.

Might not be relevant as DH and I didn't marry until 18mth after we brought the house but he brought a higher amount for the deposit that came mainly from an inheritance. It was an automatic question i think on the paperwork for the mortgage about recognising who contributed what amount or just it being 50% - can't remember exactly what it's call - something about joint tenants vs tenants in common i think. We went with acknowledging the real amount contributed which means that in the event of splitting assets he gets back his original £xx I get my original £xx then any profit is 50/50. That should still be valid even though we have married since

I am on maternity leave and yes I'm still covering bills from money I saved prior

It is being used for family

But how would you feel if a year down the line he walks out and on some technicality he gets more than his fair share in the divorce and leaves you struggling?

Because it happens

Also, have you ever benefitted financially from what your husband has brought in, perhaps during periods of maternity leave or have you ever worked part time? Has he ever earned and contributed more than you to the family pot? If you can hand on heart say no to all that then I can ALMOST see your thinking but if not, your attitude really stinks and if I was him I’d be disgusted.

Cross post. Ok so it sounds like your husband is possibly also as unfair as you about money if you’re covering bills from personal savings while on mat leave with his child. To be honest I just can’t comprehend any of this in a marriage! Maybe just take legal advice if you’re adamant about this

Can't believe your attitude
Let's hope you never get screwed over one day and left in the gutter because you were too trusting to cover your back

Nothing wrong with being sensible and covering every eventuality

When you are married the idea is that all the money goes in the pot in divorces
Imagine if a man posted this.

OP it’s not about being too trusting. I have maintained a career and my own earning potential precisely because I know that marriages fail regularly and I break out in a cold sweat at the thought of being a heartbroken divorcee with no CV or earning potential. But I also know that a marriage is a lot more likely to last if both parties are all in. While I am married (which will hopefully be forever), what’s mine is his and vice versa. A windfall is to be shared and enjoyed as the unit that we are. If you’re actively financially planning for divorce at this point then sorry but yes, I do think you have one foot out of the marriage already. Let’s just hope you’re as supportive of your DH being sensible if he comes into some cash one day!

And yes, I trust my husband implicitly. I know I could find out one day that the trust was misplaced but I would honestly rather ‘lose’ £75k to him than exist in a marriage where I’m grabbing my pennies and eyeing my husband up suspiciously lest he might fleece me. I just genuinely don’t see why you didn’t remain as co-habiting partners but I guess I don’t have to understand, it’s not my marriage or my life!

@Rainycloudyday

And yes, I trust my husband implicitly. I know I could find out one day that the trust was misplaced but I would honestly rather ‘lose’ £75k to him than exist in a marriage where I’m grabbing my pennies and eyeing my husband up suspiciously lest he might fleece me. I just genuinely don’t see why you didn’t remain as co-habiting partners but I guess I don’t have to understand, it’s not my marriage or my life!

OP isn’t “grabbing her pennies”, she is using the money for the benefit of the family but just wants to protect it in the possible event of a future divorce.

Sounds very prudent to me and better in the future hands of OPs children than in the hands of an ex-husband surely.

Easy to be relaxed about losing a hypothetical £75k, We could all be similarly relaxed.

But @pleasebeaflesbite it sounds like this windfall was totally out of the blue and a massive unexpected ‘bonus’ (although it feels wrong to refer to an inheritance as such). It’s not like the OP worked hard for it and earned it and planned her life around it. If she can’t risk ending up with ‘only’ half of it I can’t imagine how she intended funding her life before!

There’s clearly just a big difference in mindset on this issue which is fine, we’re all different! The main thing I would be concerned about is if the OP’s husband is in agreement or if this action could risk damaging their marriage. It would be very sad if taking action to protect against a future divorce actually contributed to that divorce taking place.