Please be kind in your replies, I still carry alot of trauma from this era of my life. I've began to look back and unpick things and I believe I was failed terribly by social services and need closure. I'm not looking for compensation, just acknowledgement that I was failed.
I was born to a single mother with a learning disability. By the age of 8 i was on social services radar because my mother neglected me and moved us in with a convicted sex offender, there was no abuse (thankfully) and SS ordered my DM to move us out which she did - but kept in contact with said man. I remained on a child in need plan.
I was never in school and by year 7 had dropped out completely with no encouragement to return.
We were living in poverty and the house was targeted by local youths and all of the windows smashed and replaced with boards which were then spray painted on. My mother failed to keep the home clean and her animals regularly went to the toilet indoors which made for a disgusting environment. If i needed new clothes i had to shop lift them.
My mother got involved with another (unconvinced I believe) paedophile who groomed me and tried to assault me. I was convinced not to report him but I did tell SS what had happened.
By age 12 I was being targeted by older men and ended up contracting sexually transmitted infections, I would regularly go missing and I was also self harming. SS knew about this and didn't remove me from the home. I was upgraded to a child protection plan (which made no difference to the support i received)
I was that desperate to be removed from the house that SS have me on record as saying if they didn't take me away to look after me then I would run away and fund my expenses by selling sex. They still didn't take me away.
I confided in a youth offending support worker that I had been selling sex in order to get away from home (age 14) and they did nothing with the information.
I was hospitalised multiple times as a result of drug use between the ages of 12 and 13, the latter occasion rendering me in intensive care and almost cost me my life. They still didn't take me away.
I tried to purposefully overdose at age 14, they still didn't take me away.
There is so much crap I would be here all night typing out the hell I went through that they know about.
I had the most miserable upbringing that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy and despite begging to be removed and put into care they never helped me. All I wanted was a chance at a normal life. Whilst all this was going on the most 'help' I got from social services was an occasional home visit from a disinterested social worker who did nothing with the information they had.
Fast forward to aged 18 I found myself in an abusive relationship (unsurprisingly) and I fell pregnant. When I spoke to the midwife about abuse, I was referred to the same social services department.
To cut a long story short they failed to help me again. I wanted to move away and I was asking for their help to relocate but they told me to stay where I was so as not to disrupt the pre birth assessment they were doing.
Instead of supporting me to get out of the relationship they mislead me about their intentions and waited until I was 36 weeks pregnant to tell me they would be applying to remove my baby at birth. Believe it or not (and i appreciate it sounds quite unbelievable) there was no encouragement to leave the relationship, no ultimatum and no advice on what to do to get out safely. There was no indication of removal until 36 weeks pregnant, which until then I had been told to stay put for the assessment, and it was then too late for me to make any changes.
They also used my childhood against me in the proceedings as well as the current concerns (DV, sexual abuse at the hands of then boyfriend) and all of the things they failed to protect me from were then being weaponised against me as though a vulnerable child is responsible for its own neglect and abuse.
I did manage to get out without their help but I lost my lovely baby to adoption.
They were quick to take my baby on the chance that he may be at risk of emotional harm (not by me, by the father I wanted to get away from) but they refused to take me to safety despite clear, evidenced ongoing abuse and neglect and me pleading with them to take me away.
Some MNers will recognise my story. I received alot of wonderful support on this board a few years ago. I didn't go into the grotty details of my childhood as I wasn't ready to address those things, but I'm in a much better place now and need closure.
There is much more I can add if anybody has any questions but this is a brief outline.
Years later, I moved away and broke the cycle. I have become a mum to a further two children who are in my care full time with no social services involvement. My local SS department went over my file and were appalled at the way I was failed time and time again. The social worker I was assigned here in london (after approaching them of my own accord when pregnant with my second - to prove myself capable) couldn't believe how badly I was let down and raised her concerns with her managers which is on file.
I've had trauma therapy and received a similar response from my therapist and anybody else I confide in about my history.
Everything I've mentioned is logged, from the police to hospital admissions, health records and I have a huge amount of paperwork so I can prove the failings, but would I get anywhere?
I don't want compensation, I just want them to acknowledge that they failed me.
If I have a case, how would I go about getting it to court?