Lasting Power of Attorney - DB involvement

[lockdownlunacy]

So to be brief, DM has rapidly declined over the last few months physically and cognitively (no diagnosis as yet). She has been placed in a nursing home for respite with a view to making it permanent.

I have been advised to apply for dual LPOA as soon as possible which presents its own challenges given how quickly she is declining.

However just as concerning is that DB is assuming he will be named as co-attorney, alongside me. He lives 3 hours away, has shown zero interest in DM's welfare and infact instigated a huge family row last year when he was plain nasty to her. I cannot confidently say he has her best interests at heart and is just looking out for himself.

I don't know what to do or how best to proceed.

Bump

It's your mums decision who she appoints. What does she think?

I can't visit her for another week (2 weeks isolation on going into the NH) and the broadband is so weak I can't hold a phone conversation with her.

Personally I don't think she would want DB making decisions on her behalf but that's not my call to make and her current state of mind may not be able to clearly articulate that judgement.

If that's the case she may not be able to give power of attorney to anyone . It's only for people with capacity.

DS and I have both POAs for our DM.

We pointed out the responsibilities involved and suggested to our (somewhat disinterested) DB that he could be nominated as a Replacement Attorney. He went for that.

But as the previous poster has said, if your DM is not able to make decisions it will be too late to get a POA.

It must be her choice.
If she can’t make an informed choice about who to appoint POA then I’m afraid that ship has sailed and it can not be done.

If she can decide, she can appoint you both jointly and severally so you can both act individually on her behalf.

but please if she does appoint both of you and you don’t get on and disagree what’s in her best interests please don’t involve social services in your dispute, thanks, I’m sick of it

Sorry - that above was a bit unprofessional of me, long day.

Obviously if anyone has genuine concerns about a family member not acting in the best interests of a relative then they should report it to adult social services or the Office of the Public Guardian (if the person has POA).
It’s just the tit for tat spurious allegations between siblings who have never got on, and whose feud completely over takes their relatives best interests that get a bit wearing.

Look, just fill out the form for you only. Suggest she signs it if she wants you to be able to help her. Can you find someone who will agree to sign that they feel she has capacity ?

Jointly and severally only works if you can rely on each other to discuss and agree everything otherwise it's just a highway to strife.

If she can’t make the decision, you can proceed with obtaining court appointed deputyship.

I am able to see her 1 week from tomorrow by which point I will hopefully get a better picture of her mental state.

In your shoes, I would print out a copy of the PoA forms and start to fill them out.

If you could get someone in the home to sign as her certificate (or take a friend who knows your mother with you) you could get it all signed when you next see her.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/make-a-lasting-power-of-attorney