Cafcass-how much say do the dc get?

[SistemaAddict]

Dd is 13 and does not want anything to do with her abusive dad. Abuse he denies and his gf sides with him. Cafcass are wanting to speak with dd to see what she wants. Will she be listened to and will her wishes count for anything? Court hearing in August and they are doing a full report for then. Lots of history and lots of no attention paid to dd.

I would sincerely hope at 13 she is very much listened to. Has she had any counselling at all? Has she spoken with any professionals that would back her up - someone from school?

Not since the event that caused me to stop contact on the advice of social services and the police. I assume cafcass will access those records? She told the police she didn't want to see him but that was months ago.

When you speak to CAFCASS ask them if they are going to access them?

Is Ex taking it to court?

You have followed SS advice so shouldn't have anything to worry about. I guess you could say that DD should not have au supervised contact with ex or his gf or anyone else in his family...

I would contact your GP and ask for an appointment to discuss her MH in light of being forced or coerced into seeing him?

She is awaiting counselling. Lockdown has delayed it. I applied to court to vary the order in light of the abuse. He then did a counter application to enforce the existing order.

At 12 despite a court order my ds went nc with his df..
Never heard a peep.
Over 3 years ago.
No court would force a 13 year old.
Ime.
Sounds like his behaviour /attitude will be his own downfall without dd having to say much at all from your post.
As long as she isn't just saying oh he doesn't have WiFi or makes her eat veg...

He feeds her chips with everything and lets her game all day. It's here that eating is healthier and Internet access limited.

Yes, she will be listened to. Her wishes will be taken into account. That doesn't mean the court will necessarily do what she wants but, at 13, her wishes are likely to be a significant factor in the court's thinking.

Sadly a difference in parenting styles is usually ignored.
A Sunday lunch for ex was a plate of cooked chicken legs.
When ds came here ft he told me lunch was often sauce and vinegar sandwiches..
Exh also left them home alone - but apparently as the pub was within 3 minutes they were fine..
Lots of imo neglect was ok with the courts.

My SHL told me judges are reckless with other people's dc...
Not saying you need to coach your dd for her interviews by any means but she needs to grasp it's her emotional and mental well being that needs to be being affected.
. Not just teen moans.

• not that I am saying that but a judge may..

This is reassuring, thank you.

If her sibling does want contact? The abuse is mainly towards the eldest who is the one that understandably doesn't want contact. I'm being asked what I want to I happen. I stand by dd and always have.

You can be honest and say you don't think DD should go back and without her to abuse you have concerns about how he will treat the younger sibling...

Not sure I can remember but is it a younger brother and the ex is a misogynistic abusive dickhead?

I would be very honest about your exes attitude towards you and women and you worry that your son will be poisoned against you so less contact would be in DS interests...

Is there a risk his attitude will pass down to the sibling? Would he be trying to turn one against the other? Judges hold sibling relationships in high regard...

Two dds. That's my worry exactly. Without me to abuse he moved on to Dd1. Without her to abuse will he move to dd2? There would be lots of manipulation tried via dd2 if she were to go but not Dd1.

How old is dd 2?

11

At 11 her wishes will carry a little less weight than her older sister's but they will still be a factor in the court's decision.