A bit of advice here. My partner seems to be in a constant battle for access to his DS and we seem so lost and frustrated by it all at the moment.
They have a court over in place but it seems to be ‘any excuse’ for his ex to stop him and his Ds from seeing each other. When they first split he didn’t see DS for months until he won the battle for shared custody in court.
For example. Ex has tried to get his midweek contact stopped after claiming DS said he does not want to be with us and us messing up routine. On the flip side, Ds will cry when he goes back to mothers as he misses his dad dearly. Apart from one night midweek, he is at our house every other weekend, so stopping that midweek contact would mean not seeing his dad for 10 days a time. We struggle with settling his behaviour and getting back in to a normal routine anyway during weds to weds contact and would like to eventually fight for an equal split due to these reasons.
Another example - ex has often asked my partner to pick DS up at other locations other than her home, when they are out shopping or having food At a restaurant etc. When he has refused and said pick up from home only, rather than driving out to suit her needs All the time this has been refused and he has not seen DS for some time after usual pick up time because she has taken Ds shopping with her during the scheduled pick up time and refuses to take the responsibility to get back in time for the transfer of care.
The covid quarantine period at the time was two weeks. She sent a message saying she was changing this to three weeks, then extended it further we had no contact with Ds for almost a month. She sent a solicitors letter which said she had right to do this for ‘the child’s health’ when In the mean time she was taking Ds up to his grandparents house Regularly and to his aunts but refused my partner to go up to the house to see him through the window. Phone calls were on her terms, and if she heard myself or our other son on speaker phone she put the phone down until it was ‘dad only’.
He has been stopped from going on parents evenings, tried to be blocked from going to school plays (Booking all the multiple slots herself, standing at the registry with the woman at the front desk to make sure he doesn’t slip through ect!)
Ds was currently down with gastroenteritis at the weekend, meaning we missed out Father’s Day. However, ex tried to pull of some spiel about doctors advice that she can’t come to stay for 14 days after symptoms have stopped?! And she is not to have any contact with him.
I know this is not correct as I’m in the medical profession myself, and I have seemed further advise that the usual for going back to school etc is 24-48 hours dependant. He had a phone all off DS on Sunday And he had not been sick or anything since the day before, so we know he is on the mend. But we know knowing her, she will 100% try and push this 14 day thing. DD’s phone calls are often scripted by her also, he is not allowed to say certain things and if the conversation isn’t going the Ex’s way the phone is often put down.
Given the situation, what can we do here? My partner feels at a loss like she still had that control over him from a distance. He has Messaged for updates on DS’s condition and have been blank ignored, and we know full well if Ds hasn’t been sick he will have been instructed to lie and say he has as many times before.