So me and my STBXH met almost 6 years ago and our son has just turned 2.
He is from Brazil I met him there as I was living there at the time and we married and he got his spouse visa, shortly afterwards things went downhill a bit, but I found out I was pregnant.
During my pregnancy I thought of leaving a few times, he became very controlling and verbally abusive and was not supportive at all, however I did not want to be pregnant and alone so kept trying. My family all live far away and abroad.
DS was born and things only got worse, he just wanted to party and didn't really recognize we had a baby other than posting a photo on facebook occasionally and saying what a great dad he was and I finally bucked up the courage and left when DS was 10 months old.
I felt better for it but very alone, his controlling behavior meant I had no close friends. He also completely changed, treating me as DS's mother like a princess suddenly, almost reverted back to the way he was when we met ( which was incredible)
He promised time and again he had seen the error of his ways after I left and after almost 3 months I gave in and gave him one last chance. 2 months later his visa was up for renewal and as he had a rubbish credit score I ended up having to put it in my name, but at this point our finances were all together anyway.
Shortly after I got the exact same horrible man I had left!! I just couldn't believe it, this time I left more quickly and this time for good.
However this is where it gets really bad. He went over to Brazil a few weeks ago and I suddenly got a message from a Brazilian lawyer...
Basically he is divorcing me there and if I don't consent he can do it without me and I don't get a say under Brazilian law even though I have already started a relatively amicable petition in the uk.
For me to get this to him in Brazil would be extremely expensive and time consuming and he would probably get to the "finish line" first.
So I have been forced to enter legal battle in Brazil (where he is asking ridiculous visitation rights even though he has already proved not interested!) even though me and DS are British and live in England! I have done my research and there is no way out.
On top of this he has stopped paying maintenance, and stopped paying the two loans which were his in my name! Even the money which was in DS baby account he took I discovered the other day.
He has left me in debt and with no money and I don't even know how I am going to pay a lawyer in Brazil.
I know this all sounds ridiculous and unbelievable and shocking but it is real and there is no way out.
On top of this I am dealing with the whole I'm a single mother now, my tummy is a bit mummy tummy I feel like I will never trust anyone again and having no family close by am feeling extremely down and alone.
I put on a brave face but I guess I just needed to write all this down to get it out as I still can't even make sense of how any of this has happened :(
Moral of the story? - Be wary of other countries laws before marrying someone I guess!