Another Will question

[TheLadyAnneNeville]

My mum died leaving a Will signed over 20yrs a go. In it, she had written myself and my sister out and left everything to a distant relative. The family argument which cause her to do this lasted some 18 months. She told both sisters about her anger and the XYZ Will she’d made, in that anger. So, for the past 20 yrs we were all good. Close. Holidays, Christmases, many many photos cards and letters that show the feud was over.

The person she had left her estate to had not seen her in years.

Can we do anything? My mum assured us she’d changed that XYZ Will. Told friends and other family members also. Yet, she hadn’t. I don’t understand it. Genuinely. She was devoted to my son and told me months before she died, she’d made a large provision for him, as he has a disability. Her funeral contributions went to a charity that supports that disability.

My sister and I are hurt, confused and cannot believe she has lied to us.

The sole beneficiary has said she will apply to the solicitor to “do the right thing” but I’m unsure what we can do, if she changes her mind. There’s an estate of £250k.

We were good daughters. My mum was a very controlling person and she disapproved massively of our choices in husbands. We are no longer with them. My second husband, she described as “like a son” to her. I’m just so upset.

is there any chance that a more recent replacement Will exists somewhere else?

be aware that fighting this through the courts if the distant relative legatee opposes you will cost at least £100,000. could even reach £250,000 if there is an appeal. you may be better off accepting that you are at the mercy of what your relative thinks "the right thing" is, unless a more recent will can be found.

@YinuCeatleAyru Thank you for replying.

We did an initial Will search which brought up nothing. A second Will search was advised (Citizens Advice over the phone) and it took them just 2 days to locate one. It makes me wonder what the Govt. search was about?

We still have 40 days + left on the Certainty.co.uk Will search site so, they’ve been informed of what’s happened and we are thinking another Will May emerge. I am not holding my breath in that my Mum was fond of holding her Will over us if we (sister and I) didn’t “behave”. ie my sister married an Asian man and my mother flatly refused to acknowledge the marriage. It’s been years of jokey reference ps “I’ll cut you out; you won’t get a penny from me” to more sinister “if you don’t do this/that I’ll disown you”. However, for the past 20 years, we’ve gotten along find. She has stayed with me every Christmas (lived miles away), holidayed with us, doted in her grandson and told me that, she had made amendments to the “family feud Will” and not to worry. At one point, she told me she’d leave everything to me because she wanted me to provide for lifetime care for my son. I told her not to. I said “you only have two daughters Mum, imagine the hurt that would cause”.

I think we will need to see what our relative decides. Let’s put it this way. The lady had to ask me for my mums date of birth, full name, date of death and address. She hadn’t seen her in many years and states, they weren’t close. I don’t even know the lady’s surname, that’s how bizarre it is.

Yes, I understand it could be not worth it. Rarely do these things end well. All the family is shocked. My Auntie (who is 90) is being spared the details despite asking. They hadn’t spoken in 25 yrs. Again we, my sister and I, tried to get Mum and Auntie back together but my Mum refused. She was very aware that she was saying she didn’t care if she never saw her sister again. As a baby, I was to be adopted by this Auntie. I didn’t live with my parents and sister for years. I lived with my Nana and then my Aunt. My Mum never forgave her sister for telling me that she’d basically “given one of her daughters away”.

It makes me wonder, where I’m “from”. My Mum, who for all her faults, was my mum. And yet, in the end, she disowned me.

I think I need to back away from it and see what our relative does. It’s too distressing.

Wills don't have to be lodged centrally, though many are. Search through all her paperwork and possessions. Phone round all solicitors local to where she has lived for the last 20 years to see if they hold anything.

@Titchy... have done. We actually cannot think of anywhere else to look. That’s why we did the 2 x Will searches. She died 9 months ago.