Legal guardianship for children

[mindutopia]

Dh and I want to appoint legal guardians for our dc if we were both to die. We would also like to state very clearly that we do NOT want our children to have contact with certain family members.

The legal guardians we will choose are not family members (they’re good friends). The main reason we want to appoint guardians (unfortunately) is that both of our closest blood relatives (my mum and stepdad and my MIL and her partner) we are NC with. We are NC because both of our stepdads have In recent years been charged with child sex offences. Our mums have stood by these disgusting asshats and would both likely take up a legal battle for our children if the opportunity presented itself.

We want to make a very straightforward legal declaration of our wishes (given this incredibly shit situation), and I will be seeking legal advice. But before I do, it would be helpful to know exactly what I need to ask for (from the solicitor) and anything we should consider as we make this decision.

Tell the solicitor exactly what you have said here.

Yes if you explain the situation to the solicitors they will be able to draft as watertight a will/letter of wishes with regard to the children and their guardianship as possible (I don't think there's anything they can do to 100% prevent your parents/ILs going to court to challenge it if they were really determined to do so, but the court would then look into what was in the children's best interests taking into account what you had expressed in your wills and I can't see a court agreeing it would be better for the children to live with a relative they've never met and a convicted sex offender than the guardian their parents had nominated).

Assuming the children did go to live with your friends, they would assume parental responsibility so it would be up to them who the children had contact with - I assume you have spoken to your friends about the situation, explained why you are NC and you are as confident as possible friends would respect your wishes in this situation, as really you would be placing your trust in them on this one (as again, I am open to correction, but I am not sure it is possible to write a legally valid will that would forcibly, 100% watertight, prevent a guardian from allowing a child contact with someone)?

Also I assume you have made all proper financial arrangements, life insurance etc. to provide for the children - will the guardians also be sole trustees of any money you are leaving for the children or will a 3rd party also be involved here - pros and cons on that one? Speak to the solicitor about that too.