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Legal matters

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Original poster

DS 19 assulted. Doesn't want to press charges

24 replies

notaflyingmonkey · 16/06/2020 10:51

My DS was assaulted at the weekend by someone that he knows, resulting in a broken arm, broken ribs as well as other lesser injuries.

DS has mental health issues as well as ASD.

He gave a report to the police at the time, but when they came to take a formal statement he got worried that the boy who did it would come after him. The police said that was fine, but that he could reconsider if he decided he did want to pursue it.

I feel utterly powerless, as DS is injured and frightened.

Are there organisations that can support him in these circumstances?

Could he pursue a legal case privately rather than thought the police?

(I have no idea what I am talking about when it comes to the law btw, hence my post).

OP posts:

ScrumptiousBears · 16/06/2020 11:00

What outcome are you ultimately looking for?

Elephantonascooter · 16/06/2020 11:08

However he pursues it (if he wishes to) won't take away the fear and possibility of the person who did it finding out. Either way, the police will go looking for that person and tell him the person he is suspected to have assaulted.
You also need to think that maybe your son wasn't innocent in this. Ime people don't assault others for no reason at all however the reason rarely justifies the actions.
I think if your son wants to leave it, you need to too.

Windyatthebeach · 16/06/2020 11:12

My ds was attacked in a homophobic assault. As an adult he chose not to report it even. Had to respect his choices.. Sorry it's a toughie op but sadly we as dm have to button it...

RedBrownBrick · 16/06/2020 11:15

Sorry You and your son are going though this

You could try victim support

www.victimsupport.org.uk/

TheQueef · 16/06/2020 11:16

Victim support.

Nice@Elephantonascooter

Redhair23 · 16/06/2020 11:18

@Elephantonascooter

However he pursues it (if he wishes to) won't take away the fear and possibility of the person who did it finding out. Either way, the police will go looking for that person and tell him the person he is suspected to have assaulted. You also need to think that maybe your son wasn't innocent in this. Ime people don't assault others for no reason at all however the reason rarely justifies the actions. I think if your son wants to leave it, you need to too.

Yes people do get assaulted for no reason, frequently. Mind you, even more victim blame.

Elephantonascooter · 16/06/2020 11:25

@Redhair23
Actually read the comment. I said people don't assault for no reason however the reasons rarely justify the actions.
The person assaulting always has a reason to do so that they feel at that time warrants the assault. It very rarely does and more often that not their reasoning is no where near justified, however that doesn't take away from it being that persons reasoning

Redhair23 · 16/06/2020 13:02

@Elephantonascooter, I did and I stand by what I said.

Redhair23 · 16/06/2020 13:03

I hope your son is doing ok op, I second trying victim support. My father was attacked by a random passer by who was high on cocaine, they have been great with him.

Original poster

notaflyingmonkey · 16/06/2020 19:33

Thanks for the suggestion of Victim Support, I will look into it.

As for what I want? I want him to feel empowered into making the choice that is right for him, as he is the one that has to live with the consequences.

To answer your question Elephant he is guilty of being a vulnerable adult, in a society where lowlifes prey on them.

I would like to know the basis for your assertion that people don't assault others for no reason. Does that extend to rape?

OP posts:

Tonz · 16/06/2020 19:36

Some people assault others just because they can. Sad but true

DoIneed1 · 16/06/2020 19:42

This is the second thread I have read today that has had victim blaming.

Op I really hope that your son is recovering.

Cactuslove · 16/06/2020 19:43

So sorry to read this. I would contact your local council to discuss safeguarding. They may not take it further... but there are social workers that work to support adults with care and support needs or vulnerabilities. They liaise with the police when a crime has been committed. Most importantly they might offer him that objective support- they will also consider if there is anything/service that.couls be used to safeguard him in the future. I know this isn't exactly what you asked for... but it might help. Have a little google search of safeguarding under the care act 2024 I think its a
S.42.

iklboo · 16/06/2020 19:47

. Ime people don't assault others for no reason at all however the reason rarely justifies the actions.

Where do you live where people take the time to weigh up whether they've got a slot in their schedule and the inclination to beat the shit out of someone? Do you never read the news - it's full of unprovoked attacks, homophobic assaults etc? Sometimes it's just because they can.

If it were your son would the first words out of your mouth be 'what did you do to deserve it'?

Elieza · 16/06/2020 19:49

I’d be thinking about the likelihood of evidence proving the attacker is guilty.
If there was no cctv at the time and no witnesses them it’s probably unlikely they’ll get a prosecution?
In which case is it worth the hassle.
But if plenty evidence then he may wish to consider his options. Not least because he can get criminal injuries compensation for it. I don’t know what evidence you need but if you google their website it will tell you the ins and outs. You don’t need a lawyer to claim the compensation.

TooTrueToBeGood · 16/06/2020 19:55

You also need to think that maybe your son wasn't innocent in this. Ime people don't assault others for no reason at all however the reason rarely justifies the actions.

What on earth are you getting at? The only acceptable justification for violence is self-defence. Young men assault other young men all the time and it is almost never in self defense. Your victim blaming attitude is disgusting.

HeddaGarbled · 16/06/2020 20:00

The CPS were comfortable with proceeding against Caroline Flack despite the alleged victim not co-operating. I’d want to know why the police aren’t proceeding with their investigation in this case.

BluebellsareBlue · 16/06/2020 22:42

I am so sorry OP. I would hate for this to have happened to my son, it must be awful.
Sending for you and your son.

BluebellsareBlue · 16/06/2020 22:45

I'm a retired officer in Scotland and I'm not sure where you are but here a broken bone is a serious assault. If your son has provided an initial statement then really the officers should be reporting this to the procurator fiscal and they may decide to ahead anyway even if your son is now a reluctant witness.
What I would have done is have this person arrested (if enough evidence or detained and interviewed of not) reported to the fiscal or more likely kept as a custody case for court so bail conditions can be put in place to ensure they cannot go near your son.

Original poster

notaflyingmonkey · 17/06/2020 07:59

Thanks for your input Bluebell, we are in England. The police suggested it was likely to be classed as ABH when we saw them at the weekend.

I'm really trying to support DS to do the right thing for himself once the initial shock of it all has worn off.

OP posts:

FlamingFircones · 17/06/2020 08:08

It is worth mentioning to your son that once this person is convicted of what is a very serious assault, your son can ask for the court to impose a restraining order against his attacker. This will include keeping him away from your home address, your son's place of education/work and him contacting him directly or indirectly (via friends, on Facebook, by text etc). That might bring your son much needed peace of mind. Please do encourage him to go ahead with pressing charges.

Chimchar · 17/06/2020 08:16

I'm so sorry to read this about your son...it is something I fear for my own kids.

I have no advice, but wanted to wish you both well. I hope he is on the mend physically and mentally soon x

SionnachGlic · 17/06/2020 08:18

Not reporting won't necessarily stop it happening again. It just empowers a bully to get away with it, feeling untouchable. I would encourage your DS to stand up for himself now, press charges & look to victim support for assistance. It might give him some sense of control rather than only feeling afraid. It is scary of course & that is understandable. But ulimately it is up to your son. Police should be able to give you some background on this person to help you assess if he is likely to retaliate but also what they will do to prevent it happening.

My0My · 17/06/2020 14:34

I assume the CPS decide if there is sufficient evidence for a prosecution to be successful. That will depend on good evidence from your DS. He doesn’t make the final decision about whether this case goes to court but he could make all the difference in getting the CPS to take it to court because the police have strong evidence. No evidence means no case. So do try and make him understand that he really should co operate for his safety and that its the right thing to do.

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