Are you told if they've died?

[Wick]

Not really sure what this falls under.

I've NC'd as a few details given. I broke contact with my violent and abusive mother a while ago, she's so manipulative that she's got her friends and family to harass me, I've had to cut off her family, close social media, change number a couple of times, move house a couple of times and keep only very trusted friends.

I was wondering what would happen if she became very ill or died...would someone official try to get hold of me? If yes, how?

Also, I heard that if I have a child but choose not to get married and I die, that she could/would have my child bypassing my partner?

TIA

Nobody official would try and get hold of you, unless you were named in her will which it doesn't sound like you would be.

And I don't know the official answer to your second question but I can't imagine for a second that they would give custody of a child to a violent and abusive grandparent when you have a partner who presumably has a relationship with your daughter.

I can’t advise you on being informed of your mothers passing by anyone official but I can tell you to WRITE YOUR OWN WILL. Please trust me on this as it is very important. My mother and sister died without leaving a will and my sister didn’t declare a next of kin so the admin side of things was just awful and her biological father tried to keep her young children from attending the funeral.

Is your partner the father of your child? That makes a big difference.

I heard that if I have a child but choose not to get married and I die, that she could/would have my child bypassing my partner?

If you die and there is a dispute about where your child should live the courts would decide based on your child's best interests. Your child would not automatically go to your mother. If you were living with your child's father at the time of death your child would almost certainly remain with him.

@daisypond yes he is

Thank you for the responses everyone, certainly some things to consider.

If you are her next of kin, you might be notified if she died . Otherwise no. For instance if she was admitted to a hospital, she would be asked for her next of kin / other contact details. She could give you as her next of kin if she wanted to, but from what you've said she'd probably give her other family members as contact people. In the case of her becoming very sick or dying, that contact person would be notified , but not anyone else. Hospital staff don't have the time to hunt around finding someone's daughter to notify.

Re the custody of your child, I'd certainly advise making a will with the advice of a solicitor. Nobody would give custody of a child to someone they didn't know / who was antagonistic to the child's mother. Protect yourself with a good will !