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Child contact when parents meeting isn't possible

4 replies

misssoaps · 17/05/2020 18:16

Me and children's dad split a couple years ago, domestic abuse. I've had to call the police a couple times, over the last couple of years I have put up with abuse from him so he can see his kids, but he was always unreliable, didn't turn up when he said he would ect. Refused to bring them back sometimes. Would shout abuse at me all the time, texts and phone calls all the time trying to find out what I was doing.

A couple weeks ago, he walked into my house (he's never lived here, doesn't own it isn't on tenency or anything) he took my youngest and walked off with him, I couldn't over power him. Police were called, they diffused the situation and told him to leave me alone. Because of this incident I stopped all contact between him and the children.
He has been back twice since, shouting outside my house banging on my door. He did the same today, and started shouting through my letterbox. Ringing me and texting. I called the police and they had a word with him told him to stay away again.
I'm In The process of talking to split, about a non molestation order, they are calling me tomorrow.

My question is though, how will contact with the children work if I won't see him? We have no third person to go between and to be honest I don't trust him anyway.. I'm scared of him.

I want to do what's best for the children, I want them to see their dad but it's just not possible for him to have them because he abuses me and tries to control my life using them. Although he has recently been manipulating them and emotionally abusing them too so I'm not even sure he should have them! I just feel bad for the children that's all as they don't understand why mummy won't let them see daddy. The children are all under 7 so still so young.

I just don't know what to do!

OP posts:
LouiseTrees · 17/05/2020 19:00

I would try with women’s and children’s charities and see if they have any suggestions.

TemoraryUsername · 17/05/2020 19:01

Contact centre?

Do what you need to to protect you and the children. Xx

NamechangeOnceMore · 18/05/2020 11:03

If he has overnight contact, term time contact could maybe start and end in school? E.g. he collects them from school every Tuesday afternoon and has them until start of school Wednesday morning? Mg husband avoided contact with his ex (very acrimonious divorce) and he ensured all term-time contact was done in that way to minimise his exposure to his ex.

misssoaps · 18/05/2020 11:13

@NamechangeOnceMore he often forgets to pick them up from school, and lives out of town and doesn't drive so unfortunately not possible for him to get them to school either.

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