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Original poster

Moving country with my child

14 replies

NicG132 · 07/05/2020 12:30

Hi, looking for some advice. I split up with my DD's dad 3 years ago. She still seen him couple of times a week up until last July where he was intoxicated when he had her (he's a drug user) and since then she has refused to see him. No matter how many times I tell him it's her that doesn't want to see him, he maintains I have "poisoned her against him" and i frequently get abusive texts from him, as does my 18 year old DD. Not a good guy.

Anyway, I am thinking of moving to Spain next year and have found out that I need his permission to take her (she is 10). No way he will agree to this just out of badness and to get at me.

Surely someone who has no contact with my daughter anyway cannot stop me moving away? This seems ridiculous. He has never paid any child maintenance etc. He only has PR by way of the birth certificate.

Help!

OP posts:
PotteringAlong · 07/05/2020 12:34

I think you will have to take this to court

Original poster
NicG132 · 07/05/2020 12:36

At significant cost to me no doubt, how ridiculous!

OP posts:
prh47bridge · 07/05/2020 13:05

If he refuses to consent you will need to go to court for a Specific Issue Order.

prh47bridge · 07/05/2020 13:08

At significant cost to me no doubt, how ridiculous!

£215 to apply.

The law is there to stop a parent abducting their child. You may think it is ridiculous but what alternative would you suggest?

Original poster
NicG132 · 07/05/2020 13:14

How about he has to pay any fees since he would be the one contesting it! And the point is, he would refuse just to get at me, it would have absolutely nothing to do with what's best for my daughter!

OP posts:
walkingchuckydoll · 07/05/2020 13:21

Well, that's the hague convention for you. I wish they would send it to anyone who is emigrating. It takes too many people by surprise and not in a good way. You need to talk to a lawyer to see if there is a way you can still move if there is no contact. International treaties trump local laws so it's not an easy thing.

Original poster
NicG132 · 07/05/2020 13:23

It just seems really unfair. Been through hell at the hands of this man, managed to escape 3 years ago and he is still somehow ruining my life. So angry right now. thanks for your comments.

OP posts:
Soontobe60 · 07/05/2020 13:29

Are you Spanish? Now we are post Brexit, moving to Spain may not be as easy as you think.

AmericanAdventure · 07/05/2020 13:31

How about he has to pay any fees since he would be the one contesting it! What if he rocked up and tried to remove her from the country and then you were told if you want to dispute it you need to pay all his fees too?

Sounds like you are in a rubbish situation but you do have options. Take it to court with all the evidence you can muster that he has had no contact and paid no maintenance. Your child is also of an age where her opinion will likely to be taken in to account too.

Original poster
NicG132 · 07/05/2020 13:33

Soontobe60 - i don't think it will be an issue, just a different process.

AmericanAdventure - i know what you're saying, i'm just frustrated. Looks like i have no option but to ask him first (have so far been unable to muster up the courage for that as i know it will result in days of abuse), and then when he refuses, applying to the court.

Who thinks the court will approve my application?

OP posts:
Collaborate · 07/05/2020 16:10

Who thinks the court will approve my application?

Anyone whose opinion would have any value will not be able to answer this because it depends on a number of factors. You may have a strong case. You may not. You need to arrange an appointment to see a solicitor.

I got an order for a client to emigrate half way around the world last year. Father had next to no contact. It can be done.

Original poster
NicG132 · 07/05/2020 16:59

Yes I think you're right. Will get the ball rolling. Thanks for your comment, that's positive that it worked for at least one person!

OP posts:
dontdisturbmenow · 08/05/2020 09:13

The court will only be interested in the welfare of the child. They will consider your reasons for wanting to move her (they won't care about you), if you have a suitable place there, you've worked out schools, you have the finances to support her, you've considered healthcare, what you are doing to encourage her to still have contact with her dad etc...

They will likely be interested in why your DD is refusing to see him. Sadly, it could take some time before a judge grants it if they do.

RandomMess · 08/05/2020 09:47

I would just go straight to court due to ongoing abuse towards you and DD.

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