court order breach

[getalong]

Court order made with childrens dad under year ago. Part of it was setting terms for timings and method of exchange due to communication breakdown. Best solution because it stuck to an arrangement we both agreed on, to prevent future misunderstandings (putting it nicely) and both can organise our lives better.

However he has decided to change timings of having the children due to a job change. Along with other issues in our dynamics, arrangements like these were settled to avoid such problems like this, and therefore feel its wrong to be flexible anymore as it renders the court order pointless and back to old ways.

1st. am I right to not budge?

2nd. what do I do next? if he’s not on time as written in the order, should I not allow collection or just make a note of it?

Extra info:
*has children 4days out of 4weeks
*not the first job change in 12months, more like 4th so who knows how long this lasts
*he’s not burdened with CSA, in a hope to allow him choice of how to help but not financially contributing at all since I stopped it.
*not the first time he has attempted to divert from court order and have been successful in past to remind him that this is what we signed up to. Until now and the response is “not his problem but for me to figure out.”

1. No - you're wrong not to budge. If there has been a change of circumstances see how the arrangement can be varied to maintain contact in accordance with the spirit of the order.
2. See above.

agreed we both need to reciprocate but its not happening (give an inch he takes a mile). problem here is change of circumstances happen too often hence why we got a court order in first place to stop such irregular activity. unfortunately spirit of the order is non existent as dialogue collapses all the time. you are suggesting, I simply continue to accommodate the other?

I'll try and be as clear as I can.

Say he works 5 days a week, Tuesday to Saturday. You make sure contact falls on a Sunday and don't expect he'll have contact on a Saturday. If the children are of school age perhaps he sees them from Saturday after work until Monday morning.

If he then gets a job when he's working Sunday to Thursday you change the days to days when he's available, subject to schooling and your need to have time with your children.

I fail to see where the "meeting half way" needs to come in to it.

again completely agree,
however he won't disclose days working and only wishes to see them on every other weekend (4days per 4weeks). he made sure that was clear in the court order. in the end I allowed him to decide the amount seeing them, didn't contest during negotiation of court order. his issue now is he is maintaining the stance of weekends but picking them up at a much later time and not make up for it on the last day.

with our conversations going nowhere this is exactly the type of situation I ad hoped was gone. meeting half way is unfortunately a big factor in our dynamic.

trying my best to not slate or create a sob story, simply emphasising there is no middle ground

thoughts?

From what I have been told is you are to make the dc available for the time he is meant to have them.
So if it's 10-4 on Saturday
And he comes at 11:30, you are still to let him have the dc until 4pm.

If he is to have the children Saturday but now can only on Sunday then you get it in writing from him clearly that this is the change.