Separated parents during lockdown

[Crazycowlady2]

Hi guys. Looking for advice.

Me and my daughters father have 50:50 custody over our daughter, since lockdown began we have still been sticking to this. However, I have found out he has been letting my child go to his mums house and play with his sisters two kids who she looks after as their mum is a nurse. (So in my eyes them two children are a higher risk for contractive Coronavirus) anyhow I thought this was bang out of order so I mentioned it to him and he told me that it was an accident that they got Together but no physical contact was actually made between our daughter and her cousin.

So basically he isn't sticking to lockdown rules and is potentially risking my daughter's life. (And my family when she returns to my care, I have a newborn baby too )

So I told him my daughter wasn't going back until there was some new guidelines in place and I would review the situation again and if I feel it's safe for our daughter to go back to his care then she may do so. Now he's saying that I'm going to have a legal battle on my hands as I'm breaching our child arrangement order granted by the court 2 years ago. Surely my daughters safety comes before a cao right??

Have I done the right thing or am I blowing this out of proportion?

He makes the decisions while he is looking after her. You make the decisions while you are looking after her. If you feel his decision is illegal or threatens her safety then contact the relevant authorities for advice. If he is breaking the law or it is a child protection issue, they can intervene.

If he takes her full time instead, i imagine you would be unhappy about that?

llets not true in this situation that he makes the decisions while he is looking after her.

The courts have issues helpful guidance which is worth reading through Crazycowlady2

www.judiciary.uk/announcements/coronavirus-crisis-guidance-on-compliance-with-family-court-child-arrangement-orders/

This guidance is supportive of one parent stopping contact if there are concerns about safety relating to covid, although there is a clear preference for sensible discussion and agreement. You should try to resolve the concerns with him and offer alternative contact (eg FaceTime or Zoom). Make sure that you have a paper trail of efforts to resolve the issues and what your concerns are (for example, set out your concerns by email and what needs to be done to resolve them and what alternatives you are offering in the meantime).

The comment about the father having the child full-time if the OP does not hand the child over in this circumstance is alarmist nonsense. The OP is right to expect her concerns to be addressed.

Apologies. Thanks for the relevant link.

There's going to be a lot of very nasty fallout from that.

To clarify, I meant if it was that easy to just say 'oh I don't think you are looking after her, I am keeping her' with no outside view on whether that was true or not, op would be pretty pissed off if her ex did that

It appears that really is the guidance during lockdown though. Lucky she got in first then!

Also I do have proof he isn't abiding by lockdown rules. And I have a video of my child playing with her cousin. I just feel he's being very irresponsible regarding the whole Covid 19 situation. Households should not mix and he is mixing with three different households.

She was with me when lockdown was announced and before she went to his care I expressed my concerns to him and he said he was in full isolation anyhow so there was no risk. That reassured me but then I received the video proving he obviously wasn't in isolation.

He also did not want me taking my daughter away in our caravan the weekend before lockdown as he felt it was not safe and I did what he demanded and did not go. I just feel that it's one rule for him and another for everyone else