Family Court

[AllyLouise1988]

Hi,
Does any one have any recent experience of family court!?
We are about to go through it in May and wanted to understand likely outcomes.
We have been going back and forth with solicitors and mediation since Feb 2019.
Father wants every other weekend, alternate Christmas and birthday and shared holidays when child goes to school!
The child is currently 18months.
Not allowed overnight stay according to the mother only 6 hour days. But there is almost an hour drive between each home.
Would a court likely give every other weekend as requested!?
Any advice would help.

Sounds very likely that court would award what dad is requesting.
Good luck.

@OnlyJudyCanJudgeMe thanks for replying, just trying to find some positivity it what has been a negative/upsetting experience so far. Thank you

What the father has requested seems a fairly standard order. If overnight contact has not started yet they may order this to be phased in but I have known of cases where it has been ordered immediately especially if the mother or resident parent has purposely been obstructing such contact.

@seasonfinale thank you. Currently have just days (every other Saturday) in a court order to start as mother denied all access so went mediation and they agreed days to start a bond with little one being so young and then they were to agree themselves next steps. Father sent a detailed programme explaining all his steps and reasons why which was 1 over night stay till Sept and them 2 overnight stays for remainder of the year... she declined it! So he did a new one which was just one over night stay for remainder of the year and that was declined also! No overnight stay at all because child wakes up on the night. mother wants Saturday 6 hours for child to go home and then come back Sunday! But we feel that’s uNfair on the child as the drive there and back each day and also father wouldn’t be able to take child anywhere like the zoo etc as don’t have long enough and will of already spent hour in the car that day.

I cannot see any reason why the court would not grant that unless there are some issues regarding his parenting and they would need to be substantial and to the detriment of the child.

When older he could also request 50/50 as well so be prepared.

@MarieG10 thank you for your reply. No issues in my opinion and I am a parent! But I could be biased.
It is his only child but no different to any other parent whether mother or father having their first child! He does ask for her routine as in how mother does things like meal times and nap times, her favourite foods, and father asked for access to the nursery and how she is getting on so can continue all above when father has the child and got given nothing so is having to work it out for himself! She asked for a book to be written in without father does with her when in his care, however when questions are asked back to mother, father receives a brand new notebook for the next visit but father does as he is asked pays a lot of maintenance monthly no questions asked! Did it without her needed to chase for the past year h it babe ha gone to CSA now.
She has decided to put a Cafcass form in and ticked the box on concerns for domestic violence or kidnapping or unsafe etc - there is no evidence to back that up though and there would never ever be single bit of any of the above. But some things you read show they take the mother’s word for it.

@HappyMummy2020 . Confused are you the OP?

People claim domestic abuse etc all he time and courts are experienced in dealing with claims. There needs to be some evidence to back this up..and in any event they will still look at what is best for the child.

@MarieG10 sorry I’m new to mumsnet so I’m not sure what OP means!?
Ahhh ok, yeah there isn’t any evidence at all of any violence EVER! Just the words are horrible to read aren’t they

Might be done gradually as child is still very young but I can't see why that wouldn't end up as the eventual outcome

@midnightstar66 thank you. Would that likely be one overnight stay then as gradual!? Then eventually two of all goes well. As father already has the child all day

To add exp has proven record. Conviction and non harassment order because of abuse against me and it didn't take him very long to get his EOW

Yes possibly. Our court order started off with 2 full days but dc coming home in between but dc were older. If it's currently EOW for the days maybe a move to every week etc. Overnights once more regular contact is in place. They don't seem to automatically give overnights to under 2's

@midnightstar66 Oh god that’s awful, I’m sorry to hear that for you! I’ve been in a violent situation myself but before I had my own children so I dread to think how you feel especially when you can prove it and they don’t pay any attention at all. I hope all is better for you now though..

@midnightstar66 thank you. Although I kind of agree with her being so young I get why they do that! It’s just the child travels an hour to fathers hone and an hour back every other Saturday. To do that Sunday aswell, is that not too much travel!? I thought it would be... but that’s why I’m here as I have no experience with family courts so wanted some advice or other experiences :)

Perhaps one of the days he could take her to soft play locally or something rather than constantly drive baby back and forward if contact is to be increased? It would only be a temporary situation anyway and maybe worth him suggesting?!. And thanks. Thankfully dc are a bit older now so the worry is less and they tell me what's going on (much of it not great but it enough to warrant going back to court) so you just have to hope they emerge unscathed at the end

@midnightstar66 yeah that’s a good idea, father will honestly do anything asked so he gets as much time with child possible! And whatever the situation comes out of court father will take as a positive for extra time! I think what father was also trying to achieve is bringing into the family for example father lives south and his parents live north and they haven’t met there grandchild yet properly due to not wanting to upset child as to start with was very funny with strangers. However the child is really coming out she’ll and father was hoping to get time for family time. As father has been doing every other Saturday for 8months now.
Ohh it’s actually good yours are older as they can tell you what’s going on and have a say hopefully!? Oh absolutely as things like this affect children more than some people realise doesn’t it.