Occupation order - what are my chances?

[DontBeBlueBeARainbow]

I have recently left the family home with the 2 children after my husband slapped my 4yo in the face. I had called the police, they gave him a talking to (I said I didn't necessarily want him arrested). He then called the police to attempt to cross-report me hurting the 4yo some time in the past, which had not happened. The police helped us leave after he had said he wouldn't let me leave.

He is a bit emotionally abusive (does nothing at home) a covert narcissist, is not concerned about being physical with the kids, is also emotionally abusive to them.

He is financially dependent on me, I work fulltime AND am primary carer. His immigration status is dependent on me.

I want to stop supporting him financially, I want to live in the house with the kids, I want him to leave the country (since I don't see any prospect of him supporting himself here).

But the Women's Aid referral hasn't come through, I can't get hold of them. So maybe Legal Aid won't happen. I really really want to get home. Social Services advises I don't go home.

Every time I talk to him he talks about how the kids can be safe with me, he thinks I am rough and reckless with them nd always says that is worse that him slapping 4yo, but I think he's trying to control me or scare me.

He is living in my house (bought during our marriage), I will have to pay the mortgage and everything, he plays online games all night and sleeps all day.

What should I do?? Can I get him out? Should I report our relationship breakdown to the Home Office?

How long have you been married? Can you call Women's Aid every single day to chase up the referral? Another port of call might be your local counsellor.

Reporting the breakdown of your relationship to the home office won't do anything. He can obtain a visa as the parent of his children. The may have a claim for spousal support. You need a solicitor and fast.

Where did you marry and was he allowed to marry on his visa type?
How old are the children?

We have been married for 6 years, we married in his home country. The children are 5 and 2.
I can call Women's Aid every day if I will get through to them.
He is interested in parent of a British child visa but we don't have funds to pay for it.
I never really thought he could ask for spousal support given he has capacity to work and being addicted to an online game isn't a good enough reason not to pursue work.
Any more thoughts though?
Will go back to my solicitor on Tuesday.

I’ve read the immigration rules 100+ times.
I’ve always interpreted that the child had to be aged 7 or more for that particular visa.
Asked about country because the UK does not recognize all countries marriages.
The immigration process can be very expensive, but so will a divorce.
Is he even eligible to work in the UK?
Who paid for the house? Who names are on the deeds/mortgage? I presume he’d be entitled to half if the marriage is legal?

He's from China, the marriage is legal. He is on a spouse visa so eligible to work but no recourse to public funds.
We paid for the house jointly, deeds and mortgage in my name but obviously he would be entitled to half ish on divorce.
Any idea about occupation order? Not sure what my chances would be.

You need a solicitor
You need to sort out financial arrangements and settlements - he has a claim to joint assets inc the house and possibly spousal maintenance So you’ll need to reach a settlement
Does he actually have anywhere to go now and how do you propose he pay for it ?
I think you need specialist legal support especially due to visa status too

I'm not really thinking about the divorce right now, rather getting back to the house so that my son can return to school when they open (whenever that may be).

It seems that no commenters so far think I have much of a chance with the occupation order. I had thought because of the treatment of my son and the emotional abuse I would have a good chance but perhaps not. It's so hard when you get conflicting advice but yes I'll go back to my solicitor tomorrow.

I don't plan to keep supporting him after he has been abusive and don't plan to continue sponsoring his visa until he chooses to go home.

I guess people are trying to make the point that it’s not necessarily your choice to support him or not. That is why you need good professional legal advice
Does he anywhere else to go now? If he’s not working how will he pay ?

With no recourse to the public purse, I suspect it will be complex and a long process. On Tuesday your lawyer should be able to advise if notifying the home office is wise.

Abuse is a deciding factor in occupation orders. You need to get it started. What's the use of asking here about your chances? Get legal help now.

I have finally spoken to Women's Aid today and will get started tomorrow. Thanks.

hi OP, you need to seek legal advice.

Try rights of women who will be able to help you or direct you in the right direction.

For my part, I was advised by my solicitor when I was trying to get my exH out of the house, that I could have got an occupation order because I recorded him being extremely verbally abusive to me, in front of our children. I didn't need to get an order in the end because the threat of it was enough to get him out. I would have thought that actual violence would be enough.

Why didn't you want him arrested over slapping your 4yo son in the face?

Op I'm so sorry

Hope you can get him out

Thinking of you and your kids
How worrying !!!

Stay strong and do not believe him when a) he tries to minimise and b) when he tries to claim the kids are at risk with you
It is nonsense and trust me the courts can and will see through this kind of bull

I am so glad you've spoken to WA OP. Keep us in the loop...we'll help you through as much as we can.

I hope your solicitor can help. I would ask to have him charged with slapping your child and arrange to have a locksmith there to change the locks as soon as he leaves the house.

I'm sorry this is happening to you especially at such a difficult time.

Spousal support is pretty rare these days