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Want to get daughter out of care

4 replies

Papergirl1968 · 10/04/2020 19:14

Hoping someone can advise me please.
I placed my daughter, who turns 16 in a couple of months, in care last autumn due her being out of parental control - constant running away, binge drinking, self harming etc. My girls are both adopted, and have lots of behavioural issues.
She was placed in a small children’s home and generally I’ve been happy with their care, although she has still run off, got drunk and self harmed occasionally.
Yesterday my daughter had an altercation with one of the other girls with whom she’d previously been friendly. The other girl was making racist comments about white people (we are white, she is black) and thought my daughter gave her a dirty look. She flew into a temper and has threatened my daughter and I understand had to be restrained several times to stop her getting to her.
My daughter has stayed over night in an adjacent flat with a member of staff. My daughter is absolutely terrified and can’t sleep. She’s been cooped up inside for most of the day while hearing the others outside having fun and a BBQ, and too scared to even make any noise. They don’t know she’s there - they think she’s run off again.
She’s held out an olive branch to the other girl, saying she's sorry if she upset her but has had no response. The other girl has told staff she won’t hurt my daughter but they admit they don’t know how she’ll react when she sees her again. The other girl is only a few months older but quite a bit bigger and stronger. I think she should be moved to another home due to this incident but it seems there are no plans to.
Legally an interim care order is in place. I don’t have a solicitor (stupidly didn’t think I needed one because I’d voluntarily put my daughter in care) but I’ve been told on the phone today that parental responsibility is shared 49 per cent (me) and 51 per cent (children’s services).
My daughter is begging me to bring her home for a few hours so she can have a break from being cooped up in the flat but the home are saying no, partly it seems because if she comes home she may not be able to go back due to coronavirus. In that case obviously I’d be happy to keep her - I was hoping to have her back when she turns 16 anyway if her behaviour has improved and that’s only about seven weeks away.
I’ve spoken to the duty social worker and told her I won’t do anything today but that I may well be coming to get my daughter over the weekend. She said it wouldn’t look good in court, but I would tell the judge I’m concerned about my daughter’s mental health as well as her physical safety as she sounds very down.
I’m just a little bit concerned about being arrested or what other consequences there might be although I’m hoping the circumstances, my daughter’s age and the fact I put her in care voluntarily would be in my favour. Can anyone advise?
Thank you, and sorry this is so long.

OP posts:
sadpapercourtesan · 10/04/2020 19:19

I'm a bit confused about the terms of her being in care - if she went into care at your instigation, wouldn't that be a Section 20? In which case you would retain parental rights and the ability to remove her at will? How did the interim care order come about?

I'm not nit-picking, it's just a very different scenario and your rights would be very different. Apologies if my understanding is out of date. You have my sympathy, it must be incredibly difficult and I imagine you've been to hell and back with her before it got to this point.

Papergirl1968 · 10/04/2020 19:39

Yep, to hell and back just about sums it up and I just couldn’t do it any more.
I think it was initially a voluntary accommodation under section 20 and then an interim court order at one of the hearings - the last hearing in March had to be put off due to me having suspected coronavirus and the next hearing in about three weeks will be a remote one so by Skype or whatever I guess.

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sadpapercourtesan · 10/04/2020 19:45

It's awful timing with the bloody coronavirus Sad

I don't think I would just go and pick her up, much as I can see the compulsion to get her out of there. It sounds as though SS have already indicated that they would be pissy about that and I would be wary of antagonising them. That's just a personal inclination though. I would probably write to them formally citing their duty of care to her safety and mental health, CCing it to the head of children's services and the LADO and making it clear that you are happy and prepared for her to come home and asking for a detailed explanation of why they feel that staying in her current situation serves her needs better. But I'm probably influenced by my long, bitter years of battles with schools over my own DC.

I hope you're feeling better and that this get sorted out quickly, it must be so worrying.

Papergirl1968 · 10/04/2020 20:06

Thank you, Sadpaper. I just can’t bear the thought of her being stuck in there all weekend. They’ve told her she’s not being punished but that’s the way it feels. If one of them has to be isolated, it should be the other girl.

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